效法基督 第 3 章 第 2/6 段

O service to be embraced and ever to be desired, by which the highest good is won, and a joy is won that shall remain without end! Chapter 11. That the desires of the heart are to be examined and moderated. 1. My son, you still need to learn many things, which you have not yet learned well. What are these, Lord? That you set your desire wholly according to My good pleasure, and be not a lover of yourself, but a desirous lover and zealot of My will. Desires often kindle you and impel you vehemently; but consider whether you are moved more for My honour, or for your own honour or advantage. If I am the cause, you will be well content however I shall ordain. But if anything of your own gain lies hidden, behold, this is what hinders and weighs you down. 2.

Beware therefore lest you lean too much upon a desire conceived beforehand without consulting Me, lest afterward perhaps you repent and be displeased with what at first pleased you, and for which you were zealous as for something better. For not every affection that seems good is straightway to be followed; nor again is every contrary affection at first to be fled. It is sometimes expedient to use restraint even in good pursuits and desires, lest through importunity you incur distraction of mind, lest by lack of discipline you become a scandal to others, or lest even by the resistance of others you be suddenly troubled and fall. 3. Sometimes, however, one must use violence, and manfully resist the sensitive appetite, and not heed what the flesh wills and what it wills not;

but rather strive for this, that it be subject to the spirit even against its will, and that it be chastised and forced to remain under servitude so long, until it is ready for all things, and learns to be content with little, and to delight in simple things, and not to murmur against any inconvenience. Chapter 12. On the forming of patience, and the struggle against concupiscences. 1. Lord God, as I hear, patience is very necessary for me. For many things befall contrary in this life. For howsoever I have ordained concerning my peace, my life cannot be without sorrow and conflict. It is so, my son. For I do not wish you to seek such a peace as lacks temptations, or feels no contrary things;

but rather, that you should then esteem that you have found peace, when you have been exercised by various tribulations, and proved in many adversities. 2. If you say that you cannot suffer many things, how then will you endure the fire of purgatory? Of two evils the lesser is always to be chosen: so that, in order to escape the eternal punishments to come, you should study to bear the present evils calmly for God's sake. Do you think that the men of this world suffer nothing, or little? You will not find it so, even if you should seek out the most delicate. But they have, you will say, many delights, and follow their own wills: therefore they weigh their tribulations lightly. Be it so, that they have whatever they will; but how long, do you think, will it last? 3.

Behold, those who abound in the world shall pass away like smoke, and there shall be no remembrance of their past joys. But even while they yet live, they do not rest in them without bitterness and weariness and fear. For from the very thing whence they conceive delight, they frequently receive the punishment of sorrow. Justly does it befall them that, because they seek and follow delights inordinately, they fulfil them not without bitterness and confusion. 4. O how brief, how false, how inordinate and base they all are! Yet through drunkenness and blindness they do not understand, but like dumb beasts, for the sake of a little delight of corruptible life, they incur the death of the soul. You therefore, my son, go not after your concupiscences:

and turn away from your own will. Delight in the Lord, and He shall give you the petitions of your heart. 5. For if you truly wish to be delighted, and to be consoled more abundantly by Me, behold, in the contempt of all worldly things, and in the cutting off of all base delights, shall be your blessing, and abundant consolation shall be rendered to you. And the more you withdraw yourself from all solace of creatures, the sweeter and more powerful consolations you shall find in Me. But at first you will not attain to these without a certain sadness and the labour of conflict. The inveterate habit will resist, but it shall be overcome by a better habit. The flesh will murmur again, but it shall be bridled by the fervour of the spirit.

The ancient serpent will instigate and exasperate you, but he shall be put to flight by prayer; moreover, by profitable labour his great approach shall be blocked. Chapter 13. On the humble obedience of the subject, after the example of Jesus Christ. 1. My son, he who strives to withdraw himself from obedience withdraws himself from grace, and he who seeks to have private things loses what is common. He who does not gladly and freely submit himself to his superior: it is a sign that his flesh does not yet perfectly obey him, but often kicks back and murmurs. Learn therefore quickly to submit yourself to your superior, if you wish to subdue your own flesh. For the outward enemy is more quickly conquered, if the inner man has not been laid waste.

There is no enemy more troublesome and worse to the soul than you are to yourself, when you do not agree well with the spirit. It is necessary for you to take up a true contempt of yourself, if you wish to prevail against flesh and blood, because you still love yourself too inordinately: therefore you tremble to resign yourself fully to the will of others. 2. But what great thing is it for you, who are dust and nothing, if for God's sake you subject yourself to man, when I, the Omnipotent and Most High, who created all things out of nothing, humbly subjected Myself to man for your sake? I became the most humble and lowest of all, that you might overcome your pride by My humility. Learn to obey, O dust; learn to humble yourself, O earth and clay, and to bow down beneath the feet of all.

Learn to break your own wills, and to give yourself up to all subjection. 3. Be hot against yourself, and do not suffer pride to live in you, but show yourself so subject and so much dust, that all may walk over you and trample you down like the mire of the streets. What have you, O empty man, to complain of? What, O filthy sinner, can you reply to those who reproach you, you who have so often offended God and so often deserved hell? But My eye spared you, because your soul was precious in My sight, that you might know My love, and might be ever grateful for My benefits, and might continually give yourself to true subjection and humility, and patiently bear your own contempt. Chapter 14.

On considering the hidden judgments of God, lest we be lifted up in good things. 1. You thunder Your judgments over me, Lord, and with fear and trembling You shake all my bones, and my soul is greatly afraid. I stand astonished and consider that the heavens are not clean in Your sight. If You found wickedness in the Angels, and yet did not spare them, what shall become of me? The stars fell from heaven; and I, dust, what do I presume? Those whose works seemed praiseworthy fell to the lowest, and those who ate the bread of Angels, I have seen delighting in the husks of swine. 2. There is therefore no holiness, if You withdraw Your hand, Lord. No wisdom profits, if You cease to govern. No fortitude avails, if You cease to preserve.

No chastity is secure, if You do not protect it. No self-guarding profits, if Your holy vigilance is not present. For if we are left alone, we are plunged in and perish; but when visited, we live and are raised up. For we are indeed unstable, but through You we are confirmed; we grow lukewarm, but by You we are kindled. 3. O how humbly and abjectly I ought to feel concerning myself; how as nothing I ought to count it, if I seem to have any good! O how deeply I ought to submit myself beneath Your abyssal judgments, Lord, where I find myself to be nothing other than nothing and nothing again! O immense weight, O sea that cannot be swum across, where I find nothing of myself but utter nothing! Where then is the hiding-place of glory? Where the confidence conceived of glory?

All vain glory is swallowed up in the depth of Your judgments over me. 4. What is all flesh in Your sight? Shall the clay glory against him that formed it? How can he be lifted up by vain talk, whose heart is in truth subject to God? The whole world will not lift up him whom truth has subjected to itself. Nor shall he be moved by the mouth of all who praise him, who has fixed all his hope in God. For even those who speak, behold, they are all nothing, and shall fail with the sound of words. But the truth of the Lord remains for ever. Chapter 15. How one ought to stand and to speak in everything desirable. 1. My son, if you say in everything: Lord, if it be pleasing to You, let this be done so; Lord, if it be Your honour, let this be done in Your name;

Lord, if You see it to be expedient for me, and prove it to be useful, then grant me this, to use it to Your honour. But if You know it will be harmful to me, and of no profit to the salvation of my soul, take away from me such a desire. For not every desire is from the Holy Spirit, even though it seems to a man to be just, right, and good. It is difficult to judge truly whether a good spirit or an evil one impels you to desire this or that, or whether you are moved by your own spirit. Many have been deceived in the end, who at first seemed to be led by a good spirit. 2.

Therefore one must always desire and ask, with the fear of God and humility of heart, whatever desirable thing occurs to the mind, and above all, with self-resignation, commit the whole to Me and say: Lord, You know what is better for me in this or that; as You will, give me what You will and as much as You will and when You will. Do with me as You know, and as it shall best please You, and as shall be the greater honour to You. Place me where You will, and deal freely with me in all things. I am in Your hand; turn me and turn me back round about. Behold, I am Your servant, ready for all things: for I desire not to live to myself, but to You, would that it were worthily and perfectly. A prayer for doing the good pleasure of God. 3.

Grant me Your grace, most gracious Jesus, that it may be with me, and labour with me, and persevere with me to the end. Grant me always to desire and to will what is most acceptable to You, and most dearly pleases You. Let Your will be mine, and let my will always follow Yours, and accord with it most perfectly. Let there be one willing and one not-willing with You; nor let me be able to will or to not-will anything except what You will or will not. 4. Grant me to die to all things that are in the world, and for Your sake to love to be despised and unknown in this age. Grant me, above all things desired, to rest in You, and to make my heart peaceful in You. You are the true peace of the heart, You alone the rest; outside of You all things are hard and unquiet.

In this peace, in the selfsame, that is, in You, the one and highest and eternal good, I will sleep and take my rest. Amen. Chapter 16. That true comfort is to be sought in God alone. 1. Whatever I am able to desire or to think for my comfort, I do not expect here, but hereafter: because, if I had all the comforts of this world, and could enjoy all delights, it is certain that they could not last long. Wherefore you cannot, O my soul, be fully consoled, nor perfectly refreshed, except in God, the consolation of the poor and the upholder of the humble. Wait a little, O my soul: wait for the divine promise, and you shall have abundance of all good things in heaven; and if you crave these present things too inordinately, you shall lose the eternal and the heavenly.

Let temporal things be in use, eternal things in desire. You cannot be satisfied with any temporal good, because you were not created to enjoy these. 2. Even if you had all created goods, you could not be happy and blessed; but in God, who created all things, consists your whole blessedness and happiness, not such as seems and is praised by the foolish lovers of the world, but such as the good faithful of Christ await, and the spiritual and pure of heart at times foretaste, whose conversation is in heaven. Vain and brief is all human comfort: blessed and true is the comfort that is inwardly perceived from the truth. The devout man everywhere carries with him his comforter Jesus, and says to Him: Be present with me, Lord Jesus, in every place and time.

Let this be my consolation, gladly to be willing to do without all human solace. And if Your consolation should be lacking, let Your will and Your just trial be to me for the highest consolation. For You will not be angry for ever, nor threaten to eternity. Chapter 17. That all anxiety is to be placed in God. 1. My son, suffer Me to do with you what I will: I know what is expedient for you. You think as a man; in many things you feel as human affection persuades you. 2. Lord, it is true what You say. Greater is Your care for me than all the care that I could exercise for myself. For he stands too much by chance, who does not cast all his anxiety upon You.

Lord, so long as my will remains upright and firm in You, do with me whatever pleases You. For whatever You do with me cannot be anything but good. If You will me to be in darkness, may You be blessed; and if You will me to be in light, again may You be blessed. If You deign to console me, may You be blessed; if You will me to be afflicted, may You be ever blessed. 3. My son, thus must you stand, if you desire to walk with Me. You must be as ready to suffer as to rejoice. You must as willingly be needy and poor as full and rich. 4. Lord, I will gladly suffer for You whatever You are pleased to let come upon me.

I am willing to receive without distinction from Your hand good and evil, sweet and bitter, joyful and sad, and to give thanks for all that befalls me. Keep me from all sin, and I shall fear neither death nor hell. So long as You do not cast me off forever, nor blot me out of the book of life, no tribulation that may come upon me shall harm me. Chapter 18. That temporal miseries are to be borne with equanimity after the example of Christ. 1. My son, I came down from heaven for your salvation; I took upon Myself your miseries, not from necessity, but drawn by love, that you might learn patience and bear temporal miseries without resentment.

For from the hour of My birth until My departure on the cross, the endurance of pain never failed Me, and I suffered great lack of temporal goods. Often I heard many complaints against Me, I bore reproaches and insults with gentleness, blasphemies in return for miracles, rebukes in return for My teaching. 2. Lord, because You were patient in Your life, herein chiefly fulfilling the commandment of Your Father, it is fitting that I, a wretched little sinner, should patiently bear myself according to Your will, and as long as You Yourself will, should carry the burden of this corruptible life for my salvation. For though this present life is felt to be burdensome, yet by Your grace it has become exceedingly meritorious, and by Your example and the footsteps of Your saints more tolerable and more glorious for the weak.

And it is far more consoling than it was of old in the Old Testament, when the gate of heaven remained shut, and the way seemed even darker, when so few took care to seek the kingdom of heaven. Indeed, not even those who were then righteous and to be saved could enter the heavenly kingdom before Your passion and the event of Your sacred death. 3. O how many thanks am I bound to render You, because You deigned to show me and all the faithful the right and good way to Your eternal kingdom. For Your life is our way, and through holy patience we walk to You, who are our crown. Had You not gone before us and taught us, who would have cared to follow? Alas, how many would draw far back, did they not behold Your shining examples.

Behold, we still grow lukewarm though we have heard so many of Your signs and teachings. What would become of us if we had not so great a light to follow You? Chapter 19. On the endurance of injuries, and who is shown to be truly patient. 1. What is this you say, My son? Cease to complain; consider My passion and that of the other saints. You have not yet resisted unto blood. Little is what you suffer in comparison with those who have suffered so much, been so strongly tempted, so grievously afflicted, so manifoldly tried and exercised. You ought therefore to call to mind the heavier sufferings of others, that you may bear your own slight ones more lightly. And if they do not seem slight to you, see that this be not the doing of your own impatience.

Yet whether they be small or great, strive to bear all things patiently. 2. The better you dispose yourself to suffering, the more wisely you act, and the more you deserve, and you will bear it more lightly in mind, being by habit prepared for this and not slothful. Do not say: 'I cannot endure these things from such a man, nor are such things to be borne by me; for he has done me grievous harm, and reproaches me with what I never thought of; but from another I will gladly suffer, and as I see fit to be borne.' Foolish is such a thought, which does not consider the virtue of patience, nor by whom it is to be crowned; but rather weighs the persons and the offenses done to it. 3. He is not truly patient who is willing to suffer only as much as seems good to him, and from whom it pleases him.

But the truly patient man does not consider from what man it comes—whether he be tried by his superior, or by an equal, or by an inferior; whether by a good and holy man, or by a perverse and unworthy one. But without distinction, from every creature, however much and however often any adversity befalls him, he accepts it all gratefully from the hand of God, and reckons it great gain; for nothing, however small, suffered for God's sake, can pass without merit before God. 4. Be therefore prepared for battle, if you wish to have the victory. Without combat you cannot come to the crown of patience; if you are unwilling to suffer, you refuse to be crowned. But if you desire to be crowned, fight manfully, endure patiently.

Without labor one does not reach rest, nor without struggle does one attain victory. 5. Make possible for me, Lord, by grace, what seems impossible to me by nature. You know that I can suffer little, and that I am quickly cast down when a slight adversity arises. May every exercise of tribulation become lovable and acceptable to me for Your name's sake: for to suffer and be afflicted for You is very wholesome for my soul. Chapter 20. On the confession of one's own weakness, and on the miseries of this life. 1. I confess against myself my own injustice; I will confess to You, Lord, my weakness. Often it is a small thing that casts me down and saddens me. I resolve to act firmly, but when a slight temptation comes, I am in great distress.

Sometimes it is a very trifling thing from which a grievous temptation arises; while I think myself somewhat safe, when I least feel it, I find myself sometimes nearly overcome by a slight gust. 2. Behold therefore, Lord, my humility and my frailty, known to You on every side. Have mercy on me, and rescue me from the mire, that I may not be stuck fast, that I may not remain forever overcome. This is what often beats me back and confounds me before You: that I am so prone to fall, and so weak in resisting the passions; and though not entirely to consent, yet even their assault is troublesome and grievous to me, and it greatly wearies me to live daily thus in conflict. Hence let my weakness be made known to me, since abominable fantasies always rush in far more easily than they depart. 3.

Would that You, most mighty God of Israel, zealous for the souls of the faithful, would look upon the labor and sorrow of Your servant, and assist him in all things to which he sets out. Strengthen me with heavenly might, lest the old man, this wretched flesh not yet well subject to the spirit, should gain the mastery—against which it will be necessary to fight as long as breath remains in this most wretched life. Alas, what kind of life is this? Where tribulations and miseries are never lacking; where all things are full of snares and enemies. For when one tribulation or temptation departs, another comes; and even while the former conflict still lasts, many others come upon us unexpectedly. 4. And how can the life of man be loved, having such great bitterness, and subject to so many calamities and miseries?

How can it even be called life, when it begets so many deaths and plagues? And yet it is loved, and many seek to take delight in it. The world is often blamed as being deceitful and vain, yet it is not easily forsaken, since the lusts of the flesh hold sway. But some things draw to loving it, others to despising it: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life draw to the love of the world; but the pains and miseries that follow them beget hatred and weariness of the world. 5. But, alas for the grief, a depraved delight conquers the mind given over to the world, and it reckons it delight to be among the thorns, because it has neither seen nor tasted the sweetness of God and the inward pleasantness of virtue.

But those who perfectly despise the world, and strive to live for God under holy discipline, are not ignorant of the divine sweetness promised to those who truly renounce; and they see how grievously the world errs and how variously it is deceived. Chapter 21. That one must rest in God above all goods and gifts. 1. Above all things and in all things, O my soul, you shall rest in the Lord always, for He Himself is the eternal rest of the saints.

Grant me, sweetest and most loving Jesus, to rest in You above all health and beauty, above all glory and honor, above all power and dignity, above all knowledge and subtlety, above all riches and arts, above all gladness and exultation, above all fame and praise, above all sweetness and consolation, above all hope and promise, above all merit and desire, above all gifts and favors that You can give and pour forth, above all joy and jubilation that the mind can grasp and feel. Finally, above all angels and archangels, and above all the host of heaven, and above all things visible and invisible, and above everything, my God, that You Yourself are not:

because You, my God, are the best above all things. 2. You alone are most high, You alone most mighty, You alone most sufficient and most full, You alone most sweet and most comforting, You alone most beautiful and most loving, You alone most noble and most glorious above all things; in whom all good things together are, were, and shall be perfect. And therefore whatever You give me besides Yourself, and whatever You reveal or promise concerning Yourself, is little and insufficient, while You are not seen nor fully attained: since indeed my heart cannot truly rest, nor be wholly content, unless it rest in You, and transcend all gifts and every creature. 3.

O my most beloved bridegroom Jesus Christ, purest lover, ruler of all creation, who will give me the wings of true freedom, to fly and to rest in You? O when will it be fully granted me to be at leisure, and to see how sweet You are, Lord my God? When shall I fully gather myself together in You, that for love of You I may not feel myself, but You alone, above all sense and measure, in a manner not known to all?

But now I often groan, and bear my unhappiness with sorrow, because many evils befall me in this vale of miseries, which more often disturb me, and sadden and darken me, more often hinder and distract, allure and entangle me, so that I may not have free access to You, nor enjoy the delightful embraces ever present to the blessed spirits. Let my sighing move You, and my manifold desolation on earth. 4. O Jesus, splendor of eternal glory, comfort of my soul's pilgrimage, before You my mouth is without voice, and my silence speaks to You. How long does my God delay to come? Let Him come to His poor little one, and make him glad; let Him stretch out His hand, and rescue the wretched from all anguish.

Come, come, for without You no day or hour will be peaceful, since You are my joy, and without You my table is empty. I am wretched, and in a way imprisoned and shackled and burdened, until You refresh me with the light of Your presence, and grant me liberty, and show me Your friendly countenance. 5. Let others seek anything else they please instead of You; but as for me, meanwhile nothing else pleases or shall please, except my God, my hope, my eternal salvation. I will not be silent, nor cease to beseech, until Your grace return to me, and You speak within me. 6. Behold, here I am; behold, I come to you, because you called Me. Your tears and the desire of your soul, your humbling, and the contrition of your heart, have inclined Me and led Me to you. 7. And I said:

Lord, I have called upon You, and have longed to enjoy You, ready to reject all things for Your sake: for You first stirred me up to seek You; may You therefore be blessed, Lord, who have shown this goodness to Your servant according to the multitude of Your mercy. What more has Your servant to say before You, Lord, except to humble himself greatly before You, ever mindful of his own iniquity and weakness and vileness? For there is none like You among all the wonders of heaven and earth. Your works are very good, Lord, Your judgments true, and by Your providence all things are governed. Praise therefore and glory be to You, O wisdom of the Father; let my mouth, my soul, and all created things together praise and bless You. Chapter 22.

On the remembrance of God's manifold benefits. 1. Open, Lord, my heart in Your law, and teach me to walk in Your precepts. Grant me to understand Your will, and with great reverence and diligent consideration to remember Your benefits, both in general and in particular, that hence I may be able to render thanks. Truly I know and confess that I cannot pay the due praises of thanksgiving even for the smallest point. I am less than all the goods bestowed upon me; and when I consider Your nobility, my spirit fails before the greatness of it. 2.

All that we have in soul and in body, and whatever we possess outwardly or inwardly, naturally or supernaturally, are Your benefits, and they commend Him as bountiful, kind, and good, from whom we have received all good things. And if one has received more, another fewer, yet all are Yours, and not the least can be had without You. He who has received greater things cannot glory in his own merit, nor exalt himself above others, nor insult the lesser; for he is the greater and the better who ascribes less to himself, and is more humble and devout in giving thanks: and he who esteems himself baser than all and judges himself more unworthy, is the fitter to receive greater things. 3.