O, if these things had relish for you, and passed deeply to your heart, how would you dare even once to complain? Are not all toilsome things to be endured for the sake of eternal life? It is no small thing to gain or to lose the kingdom of God. Lift up therefore your face to heaven. Behold, I and all My saints with Me, who in this world had a great struggle, now rejoice, now are comforted, now are secure, and now rest, and shall remain with Me without end in the kingdom of My Father. Chapter 48. On the day of eternity, and the straits of this life. 1. O most blessed mansion of the supernal city! O most bright day of eternity, which night darkens not, but the supreme Truth ever irradiates! A day ever glad, ever secure, and never changing its state into its opposite.
O, would that that day had dawned, and all these temporal things had received their end! It shines indeed for the saints with perpetual splendid brightness, but only from afar and through a glass for those journeying on earth. 2. The citizens of heaven know how full of joy that day is; the exiled sons of Eve groan that this present day is bitter and wearisome. The days of this time are short and evil, full of sorrows and straits: where man is defiled with many sins, ensnared with many passions, bound with many fears, stretched with many cares, distracted with many curiosities, entangled with many vanities, surrounded with many errors, worn with many labors, weighed down with many temptations, enervated by delights, tormented by want. 3.
O, when shall there be an end of these many labors? When shall I be set free from the wretched servitude of vices? When shall I be mindful, Lord, of You alone? When shall I rejoice fully in You? When shall I be without any hindrance in true liberty, without any burden of mind and body? When shall there be solid peace, peace untroubled and secure, peace within and without, peace firm on every side? Good Jesus, when shall I stand to behold You? When shall I contemplate the glory of Your kingdom? When will You be to me all in all? O, when shall I be with You in Your kingdom, which You have prepared for Your beloved from eternity? I am left poor and an exile in a hostile land, where there are daily wars and the greatest misfortunes. 4.
Comfort my exile, soothe my sorrow, for to You all my longing sighs. For a whole burden to me is whatever this world offers for solace. I long to enjoy You inwardly, but I cannot lay hold of You. I desire to cleave to heavenly things, but temporal things and unmortified passions weigh me down. In mind I desire to be above all things, but in flesh I am unwillingly compelled to be subject to them. Thus I, an unhappy man, fight against myself, and have become a burden to my own self, while the spirit seeks to be above and the flesh seeks to be below. 5. O, what do I suffer within, while in mind I handle heavenly things, and presently a throng of carnal temptations and thoughts meets me as I pray! My God, be not far from me, nor turn away in anger from Your servant.
Flash forth Your lightning and scatter them; send out Your arrows, and let all the phantoms of the enemy be confounded. Gather back all my senses to You; make me forget all worldly things; grant me quickly to cast off and despise the phantasms of vices. Help me, eternal Truth, that no vanity may move me. Come, heavenly Sweetness, and let all impurity flee from before Your face. Pardon me too, and mercifully forgive, as often as in prayer I turn over anything other than You. For I confess truly that I am wont to be very distracted. For oftentimes I am not there where I bodily stand or sit, but I am rather there where I am borne by my thoughts. There am I, where my thought is; where my thought frequently is, there is that which I love.
That readily occurs to me which by nature delights, or by habit pleases. 6. Wherefore You, eternal Truth, plainly said: For where your treasure is, there is your heart also. If I love heaven, I gladly muse on heavenly things. If I love the world, I rejoice in the world's prosperities, and grieve at its adversities. If I love the flesh, I most often imagine the things of the flesh. If I love the spirit, I delight to think on spiritual things. For whatever I love, of these I gladly speak and hear, and the images of such things I carry home with me.
But blessed is that man who, for Your sake, O Lord, grants to all creatures leave to depart, who does violence to nature and crucifies the concupiscences of the flesh by the fervor of the spirit, so that with conscience made serene he may offer You pure prayer, and be worthy to be present among the angelic choirs, all things earthly being shut out, without and within. Chapter 49. On the desire of eternal life, and how great are the rewards promised to those who contend. 1. My son, when you feel the desire of eternal blessedness infused into you from above, and long to go forth from the tabernacle of the body, that you may contemplate My brightness without the shadow of change, enlarge your heart, and with all desire receive this holy inspiration.
Render fullest thanks to the supernal Goodness, which deals with you so condescendingly, visits you so clemently, stirs you so ardently, raises you so powerfully, lest by your own weight you slip down to earthly things. For not by your own thought or effort do you receive this, but by the sole condescension of supernal grace and divine regard, that you may advance in virtues and in greater humility, and prepare yourself for future conflicts, and study to cleave to Me with all the affection of your heart, and to serve Me with fervent will. 2. My son, often the fire burns, but the flame does not ascend without smoke. So too the desires of some flame toward heavenly things, and yet they are not free from the temptation of carnal affection. Therefore neither do they act altogether purely for the honor of God in what they so desiringly ask of Him.
Such too is often your desire, which you have intimated to be so importunate. For that is not pure and perfect which is infected with your own advantage. 3. Ask not what is delightful and convenient for you, but what is acceptable and honorable to Me; for if you judge rightly, you ought to prefer My ordering to your desire and to all that is desired, and to follow it. I know your desire, and I have heard your frequent groanings. Already you would wish to be in the liberty of the glory of the sons of God; already the eternal home delights you, and the heavenly fatherland full of joy. But that hour is not yet come; but there is yet another season, namely a time of war, of labor and of trial. You long to be filled with the supreme Good, but you cannot attain this now.
I am here; wait for Me, says the Lord, until the kingdom of God comes. 4. You are yet to be tried on earth, and to be exercised in many things. Consolation will sometimes be given you, but abundant satiety will not be granted. Take courage therefore and be strong, both in doing and in suffering things contrary to nature. You must put on the new man, and be changed into another man. You must often do what you do not wish, and must leave undone what you wish. What pleases others will go forward; what pleases you will profit no further. What others say will be heard; what you say will be reckoned as nothing. Others will ask, and will receive; you will ask and not obtain. 5. Others will be great in the mouths of men; but of you nothing will be said.
To others this or that will be entrusted; but you will be judged useful for nothing. For these things nature will sometimes be saddened, but it will reap great fruit if it keeps silence. In these and many like things the faithful servant of the Lord is wont to be tried, how he seeks to deny himself in all things and to break himself in all things. There is scarcely anything in which you so much need to die, as in seeing and suffering things that are contrary to your will; especially when things unsuitable, and which seem to you less useful, are commanded to be done. And because you dare not resist the higher power, being placed under its dominion, therefore it seems hard to you to walk at another's nod and to forgo all your own opinion. 6.
But consider, my son, the fruit of these labors, the speedy end and the exceedingly great reward, and you will have from them no burden, but the strongest solace of your patience. For even for this little will which you now willingly forsake, you will always have your will in heaven. There indeed you will find all that you would wish, all that you can desire. There the abundance of every good will be present to you, without fear of losing it. There your will, ever one with Me, will desire nothing strange or private. There none will resist you, no one will complain of you, no one will hinder you, nothing will stand in your way; but all things desired will at once be present, and will refresh your whole affection and fill it up to the very brim.
There I will render glory for the contumely you endured, a garment of praise for sorrow, for the lowest place a throne of the kingdom for ever. There the fruit of obedience will appear; the labor of penitence will rejoice, and humble subjection will be gloriously crowned. 7. Now therefore bow yourself humbly under the hands of all, and let it not concern you who has said this or commanded it; but make this your great care, that whether it be a Prelate, or an inferior, or an equal who asks or hints anything of you, you take it all for good, and study with a sincere will to fulfill it. Let one seek this, another that; let one glory in this, and that one in that; let them be praised a thousand thousand times, but you, neither in this nor in that: but rejoice in your own contempt, and in the good pleasure and honor of Me alone.
This should be your desire, that whether through life or through death God may always be glorified in you. Chapter 50. How a man, when desolate, ought to offer himself into the hands of God. 1. Lord God, holy Father, be now and forever blessed, for as You will, so it is done, and what You do is good. Let Your servant rejoice in You, not in himself, nor in any other, for You alone are true gladness, You are my hope and my crown, You are my joy and my honor, O Lord. What has Your servant, except what he has received from You, even without his own merit? All things are Yours, which You have given and which You have made.
I am poor and in labors from my youth, and my soul is saddened, sometimes even to tears, and at times my spirit too is troubled within itself because of impending sufferings. 2. I long for the joy of peace; I implore the peace of Your children, who are fed by You in the light of consolation. If You give peace, if You pour in holy joy, the soul of Your servant will be full of melody, and devout in Your praise. But if You withdraw Yourself, as You very often are wont to do, he will not be able to run the way of Your commandments, but rather his knees will be bowed to strike his breast, because it is not with him as yesterday and the day before, when Your lamp shone over his head, and under the shadow of Your wings he was sheltered from the assaulting temptations. 3.
Just Father, and ever to be praised, the hour is come that Your servant be tried. Loving Father, it is fitting that in this hour Your servant suffer somewhat for You. Father forever to be venerated, the hour is come which from eternity You foreknew would come, that for a little time Your servant should outwardly succumb, yet inwardly should live forever with You; that he be a little while despised, humbled, and fail before men, be worn down with sufferings and languors, that again he may rise with You in the dawn of new light, and be glorified in the heavens. Holy Father, You have so ordained, and so willed, and this is done which You commanded. 4.
For this is a grace to Your friend, to suffer and be afflicted in the world for love of You, as often and by whomsoever and in whatever manner You permit it to be done. Without Your counsel and providence, and without cause, nothing is done on earth. It is good for me, Lord, that You have humbled me, that I may learn Your justifications, and may cast away all loftiness of heart and presumptions. It is profitable to me that confusion has covered my face, that I may seek You rather than men for consolation. I have learned from this too to dread Your inscrutable judgment, who afflicts the just with the wicked, but not without equity and justice. 5.
Thanks be to You, that You have not spared my evils, but have worn me with bitter stripes, inflicting pains and sending in straits without and within. There is none who can comfort me of all that are under heaven, save You, Lord my God, the heavenly Physician of souls, who strikes and heals, leads down to hell and brings back. Your discipline is upon me, and Your rod itself shall teach me. 6. Behold, beloved Father, I am in Your hands; under the rod of Your correction I bow myself: smite my back and my neck, that I may bend my crookedness to Your will. Make me a devout and humble disciple, as You are wont well to do, that I may walk at Your every nod. To You I commit myself and all that is mine to be corrected:
better is it to be corrected here than hereafter. You know all things, each and every one, and nothing in the human conscience is hidden from You. Before they come to pass, You know things to come, and You have no need that anyone should teach or admonish You of those things that are done on earth. You know what is expedient for my advancement, and how much tribulation avails to purge away the rust of vices. Do with me Your desired good pleasure, and despise not my sinful life, known to none better and more clearly than to You alone. 7. Grant me, Lord, to know what is to be known, to love what is to be loved, to praise what most highly pleases You, to esteem what appears precious to You, to abhor what is foul in Your sight.
Let me not judge according to the sight of the outward eyes, nor pass sentence according to the hearing of the ears of unskilled men: but in true judgment discern between things visible and spiritual, and above all things ever inquire after the will of Your good pleasure. 8. The senses of men are often deceived in judging; the lovers of the world too are deceived, loving only things visible. For wherein is a man the better, because he is reckoned greater by another man? The deceitful deceives the deceitful, the vain the vain, the blind the blind, the weak the weak, while he exalts him, and in truth the more confounds him while he vainly praises him. For as much as each one is in Your eyes, so much is he, and no more, says the humble saint Francis. Chapter 51.
That one must apply oneself to humble works, when one falls short of the highest. 1. My son, you cannot always stand in the more fervent desire of virtues, nor in the higher degree of contemplation; but you have need at times, because of original corruption, to descend to lower things, and to bear the burden of corruptible life, even unwillingly and with weariness. As long as you bear a mortal body, you will feel weariness and heaviness of heart. You ought therefore often to groan in the flesh because of the burden of the flesh, in that you cannot unceasingly cleave to spiritual studies and to divine contemplation. 2.
Then it is expedient for you to flee to humble and outward works, and to refresh yourself in good deeds, to await My coming and supernal visitation with firm confidence, to bear your exile and the dryness of mind patiently, until you be again visited by Me, and freed from all anxieties. For I will make you forget your labors, and fully enjoy inward quiet. I will spread open before you the meadows of the Scriptures, that with enlarged heart you may begin to run the way of My commandments, and you will say: The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to come, which shall be revealed in us. Chapter 52. That a man should not reckon himself worthy of consolation, but rather worthy of stripes. 1. Lord, I am not worthy of Your consolation, nor of any spiritual visitation:
and therefore You deal justly with me, when You leave me poor and desolate. For if I could pour out tears like the sea, still I would not be worthy of Your consolation. Wherefore I am worthy of nothing but to be scourged and punished, because I have grievously and often offended You, and have greatly failed in many things. Therefore, by true and weighed reckoning, I am not worthy even of the least consolation. But You, kind and merciful, because You will not that Your works should perish, to show the riches of Your goodness in the vessels of Your mercy, even beyond all my own merit, deign to console Your servant above human measure. For Your consolations are not as the talkings of men. 2. What have I done, Lord, that You should confer on me any heavenly consolation?
I recall having done nothing good, but to have been ever prone to vices, and slow to amendment. It is true, and I cannot deny it; if I should say otherwise, You would stand against me, and there would be none to defend me. What have I merited for my sins, but hell and eternal fire? In truth I confess that I am worthy of all mockery and contempt; nor does it become me to dwell among Your devout ones. And although I hear this with reluctance, yet for truth's sake I will accuse my sins against myself, that I may more easily obtain Your mercy. 3. What shall I say, guilty and full of all confusion? I have no mouth to speak, save only this one word: I have sinned, Lord, I have sinned: have mercy on me, pardon me.
Let me be a little while, that I may bewail my sorrow, before I go to the dark land, covered with the gloom of death. What do You so greatly require of a guilty and wretched sinner, but that he be contrite and humble himself for his sins? In true contrition and humbling of heart is born the hope of pardon, the troubled conscience is reconciled, lost grace is recovered, man is guarded from the wrath to come, and God and the penitent soul meet one another in a holy kiss. 4. Humble contrition for sins is an acceptable sacrifice to You, O Lord, smelling far sweeter in Your sight than the incense of frankincense. This too is that grateful ointment, which You willed to be poured upon Your sacred feet, for a contrite and humbled heart You have never despised.
There is the place of refuge from the face of the enemy's wrath; there is amended and washed away whatever has elsewhere been contracted into uncleanness. Chapter 53. On grace that is not mingled with those who relish earthly things. 1. My son, precious is My grace; it does not suffer itself to be mingled with strange things, nor with earthly consolations. You ought therefore to cast away all hindrances of grace, if you long to receive its infusion. Seek a secret place for yourself; love to dwell alone with yourself; require the conversation of no one, but rather pour out devout prayer to God, that you may keep a devout mind and a pure conscience. Esteem the whole world as nothing; set the leisure of attending to God before all outward things. For you cannot at once attend to Me and delight in transitory things.
From acquaintances and dear ones one must withdraw oneself, and keep the mind apart from all temporal solace. So the blessed Apostle Peter beseeches, that the faithful of Christ should conduct themselves as strangers and pilgrims in this world. 2. O, how great will be the confidence of the dying man, whom no affection for any thing detains in the world! But the mind does not yet grasp how to have a heart so separated in all things, nor does the animal man know the liberty of the inner man. Nevertheless, if he truly wishes to be spiritual, he must renounce both those far off and those near, and must beware of none more than of himself. If you perfectly conquer yourself, you will easily subdue the rest. For the perfect victory is to triumph over one's own self:
For he who holds himself in subjection, so that sensuality obeys reason, and reason obeys me in all things, this man is truly the conqueror of himself and the lord of the world. 3. If you long to climb to this height, you must begin manfully and lay the axe to the root, that you may pull up and destroy your hidden and disordered inclination toward yourself and toward every private and material good. From this vice, that a man loves himself too inordinately, hangs almost everything that must be radically conquered; and once that evil is overcome and subdued, there will be at once great peace and tranquillity.
But because few labour to die perfectly to themselves, nor wholly reach beyond themselves, therefore they remain entangled in themselves, and cannot be lifted above themselves in spirit. But whoever desires to walk freely with me must mortify all his depraved and disordered affections, and cling with covetous private love to no creature. Chapter 54. On the diverse movements of nature and of grace. 1. My son, mark diligently the movements of nature and of grace; for they move in ways very contrary and subtle, and can scarcely be discerned save by a spiritual man inwardly enlightened. All men indeed desire the good, and pretend to something good in their words or deeds; therefore many are deceived under the appearance of good. 2.
Nature is crafty, and draws many, ensnares and deceives them, and always has itself for its end. But grace walks in simplicity, turns aside from every appearance of evil, contrives no deceits, and does all purely for God's sake, in whom also it finally rests. 3. Nature is unwilling to die, will not be pressed down or overcome, will neither be subject nor willingly subdued. But grace strives after the mortification of self, resists sensuality, seeks to be subject, longs to be conquered, will not use its own liberty, loves to be kept under discipline, and desires to rule over no one; but always to live, stand, and be under God, and for God's sake is humbly ready to bow before every human creature. 4.
Nature labours for its own advantage, and attends to whatever gain may come to itself from another. But grace considers rather not what is useful and advantageous to itself, but what may profit many. 5. Nature gladly receives honour and reverence. But grace faithfully ascribes all honour and glory to God. 6. Nature fears confusion and contempt. But grace rejoices to suffer reproach for the name of Jesus. 7. Nature loves leisure and bodily rest. But grace cannot be idle, but gladly embraces labour. 8. Nature seeks to have things curious and beautiful, and abhors what is cheap and coarse. But grace delights in simple and humble things, does not despise what is rough, nor refuses to be clothed in old garments. 9.
Nature regards temporal things, rejoices at earthly gains, is saddened by loss, and is provoked by a slight injurious word. But grace attends to things eternal, does not cling to temporal things, is not troubled at the loss of goods, nor embittered by harsher words, because it has placed its treasure and joy in heaven, where nothing perishes. 10. Nature is covetous, and more gladly receives than gives; it loves what is private and its own. But grace is kindly and shares freely, avoids singularity, is content with little, and judges it more blessed to give than to receive. 11. Nature inclines toward creatures, toward its own flesh, toward vanity and wanderings.
But grace draws toward God and toward virtues, renounces creatures, flees the world, hates the desires of the flesh, restrains wanderings, and is ashamed to appear in public. 12. Nature gladly has some outward solace in which it may delight to the senses. But grace seeks to be consoled in God alone, and to delight in the highest good above all things visible. 13. Nature does everything for gain and its own advantage, and can do nothing for free; but for its kindnesses it hopes to obtain either an equal or a better return, or praise or favour, and longs that its deeds and gifts and words be greatly esteemed.
But grace seeks nothing temporal, nor demands any other reward than God alone for its recompense, nor desires more of temporal necessities than these may serve to attain things eternal. 14. Nature rejoices in many friends and kinsmen, glories in a noble place and in birth of family; it smiles upon the powerful, flatters the rich, and applauds those like itself.
But grace loves even its enemies, is not puffed up by a crowd of friends, sets no store by place or birth of lineage, except where greater virtue is found; it favours the poor rather than the rich, has more compassion on the innocent than on the powerful, rejoices with the truthful and not the deceitful, and always exhorts the good to be zealous for better gifts, and to be conformed to the Son of God through virtues. 15. Nature quickly complains of want and trouble. Grace constantly bears poverty. 16. Nature turns all things back to itself, contends and argues for itself.
But grace leads all things back to God, from whom they originally flow, ascribes no good to itself nor arrogantly presumes, does not contend, nor prefers its own opinion to others', but in every sense and understanding submits itself to the eternal wisdom and to the divine examination. 17. Nature longs to know secrets and to hear new things; it wishes to appear outwardly and to experience much through the senses; it desires to be recognized, and to do that from which praise and admiration may proceed. But grace does not care to perceive new or curious things, because all this has sprung from the old corruption, since there is nothing new and lasting upon the earth.
Therefore it teaches to restrain the senses, to shun vain self-complacency and ostentation, humbly to hide what is praiseworthy and rightly to be admired, and in every matter and in all knowledge to seek the fruit of usefulness and the praise and honour of God. It will not have itself nor its own things proclaimed; but it desires that God be blessed in his gifts, who bestows all things out of pure charity. 18. This grace is a supernatural light and a certain special gift of God, and properly the seal of the elect and the pledge of eternal salvation; which lifts a man from earthly things to loving the heavenly, and makes him spiritual out of carnal.
Therefore the more nature is pressed down and conquered, the more grace is poured in, and daily by new visitations the inward man is formed after the image of God. Chapter 55. On the corruption of nature and the efficacy of divine grace. 1. O Lord my God, who created me after your own image and likeness, grant me this grace, which you have shown me to be so great and necessary for salvation, that I may overcome my most evil nature drawing me to sins and to perdition. For I feel in my flesh the law of sin contradicting the law of my mind, and leading me captive to obey sensuality in many things; nor can I resist its passions, unless your most holy grace, ardently poured into my heart, assists me. 2.