證道篇與文集 第 2 章

Preface After I had published a certain little work as a specimen of meditating on the rational basis of faith, at the urging of the prayers of certain brethren—reasoning silently with myself in the person of one who investigates by inquiry things he does not know—considering that this was woven together by a chain of many arguments, I began to ask myself whether perhaps one single argument could be found which needed no other than itself alone to prove itself, and which alone would suffice to establish that God truly exists, and that he is the supreme good needing no other, and which all things need in order to exist and to be well, and whatever we believe concerning the divine substance.

When I turned my thought to this often and earnestly, and at times it seemed to me that what I was seeking could now be grasped, while at times it altogether escaped the keen edge of my mind: at last, in despair, I wished to cease, as from the inquiry into a thing which it was impossible to find. But when I wished to exclude that thought wholly from myself, lest by uselessly occupying my mind it should hinder me from other matters in which I could make progress: then more and more, as I was unwilling and warding it off, it began to press itself upon me with a certain importunity. When therefore on a certain day I was wearied by vehemently resisting its importunity, in the very conflict of my thoughts that which I had despaired of so presented itself that I eagerly embraced the thought which, anxious, I had been repelling.

Judging therefore that what I rejoiced to have found, if it were written down, would please some reader, I wrote the following little work concerning this very thing and concerning certain other matters, under the person of one striving to lift up his mind to the contemplation of God, and seeking to understand what he believes. And since I judged neither this nor the other, of which I made mention above, worthy of the name of a book or to have the name of an author prefixed to it, and yet thought they ought not to be sent forth without some title by which they might in some way invite anyone into whose hands they came to read them: I gave to each its own title, so that the former might be called Specimen of Meditating on the Rational Basis of Faith, and the latter, Faith Seeking Understanding.

But when both had now been transcribed by several persons with these titles, many compelled me, and especially the reverend archbishop of Lyons, Hugh by name, exercising the apostolic legation in Gaul, who commanded me this by apostolic authority, that I should prefix my name to them. And that this might be done more fittingly, the former I named indeed Monologion, that is, soliloquy, but the latter Proslogion, that is, address. 1 The rousing of the mind to the contemplation of God Come now, little man, flee for a while your occupations, hide yourself for a moment from your tumultuous thoughts. Cast off now your burdensome cares, and put aside your laborious distractions. Be free for a little while for God, and rest for a little while in him.

"Enter into the chamber" [Mt 6:6] of your mind, shut out everything except God and what helps you to seek him, and "with the door closed" [Mt 6:6] seek him. Say now, my whole "heart," say now to God: "I seek your face; your face, Lord, do I require" [Ps 26:8]. Come now, therefore, you, Lord my God, teach my heart where and how it may seek you, where and how it may find you. Lord, if you are not here, where shall I seek you, you who are absent? But if you are everywhere, why do I not see you present? But surely you dwell in "inaccessible light" [1 Tim 6:16]. And where is the inaccessible light? Or how shall I approach the inaccessible light? Or who shall lead me and bring me into it, that I may see you in it? Then by what signs, by what face shall I seek you?

Never have I seen you, O Lord my God; I have not known your face. What shall he do, O most high Lord, what shall this your distant exile do? What shall your servant do, anxious with love of you and "cast far from your face" [Ps 50:13]? He pants to see you, and your face is too far from him. He longs to approach you, and your dwelling is inaccessible. He desires to find you, and knows not your place. He yearns to seek you, and is ignorant of your countenance. Lord, you are my God and you are my Lord, and never have I seen you. You made me and remade me, and you have bestowed upon me all good things, and not yet do I know you. In short, I was made to see you, and I have not yet done that for which I was made. O wretched lot of man, when he has lost that for which he was made!

O hard and dire that fall! Alas, what did he lose and what did he find, what departed and what remained! He lost the blessedness for which he was made, and found the misery for which he was not made. That departed without which nothing is happy, and that remained which by itself is nothing but wretched. "Man ate then the bread of angels" [Ps 77:25], for which he now hungers; he eats now "the bread of sorrows" [Ps 126:2], which then he knew not. Alas the common mourning of men, the universal lament of the sons of Adam! He belched from fullness; we sigh from hunger. He abounded; we beg. He held happily and wretchedly forsook; we are in want unhappily and desire miserably. And alas, we remain empty!

Why did he not keep for us, when he easily could, that which we should so grievously lack? Why did he thus bar the light from us and cover us with darkness? To what end did he take away life from us and inflict death? Wretched ones, whence we are expelled, whither we are driven! Whence cast down, whither overwhelmed! From our fatherland into exile, from the vision of God into our blindness. From the joy of immortality into the bitterness and horror of death. O miserable change! From how great a good into how great an evil! Grave loss, grave grief, all grave! But alas, wretched me, one among the other wretched sons of Eve estranged from God! What did I begin, what did I accomplish? Whither was I tending, whither have I come? To what did I aspire, in what do I sigh? "I sought good things, and behold, trouble" [Ps 121:9; Jer 14:19]!

I was reaching toward God, and I struck against myself. I was seeking rest in my secret place, and "I found tribulation and grief" [Ps 114:3] in my inmost parts. I wished to laugh from the joy of my mind, and I am compelled to "roar from the groaning of my heart" [Ps 37:9]. Gladness was hoped for, and behold, whence sighs are thickened! And O "you, Lord, how long? How long, Lord, will you forget us, how long will you turn away your face from us"? When will you "look upon and hear" us? When will you "enlighten our eyes" and "show" [Ps 6:4; Ps 12:1-4] us "your face" [Ps 79:4,8]? When will you restore yourself to us? Look, Lord, hear, enlighten us, show us yourself. Restore yourself to us, that it may be well with us, without whom it is so ill with us.

Have mercy on our toils and efforts toward you, we who avail nothing without you. Invite us, "help" us [Ps 78:9]. I beseech you, Lord, that I may not despair by sighing, but breathe again by hoping. I beseech you, Lord, my heart is embittered by its desolation; sweeten it by your consolation. I beseech you, Lord, hungry I began to seek you; let me not cease fasting from you. Famished I drew near; let me not depart unfed. Poor I came to the rich, wretched to the merciful; let me not return empty and despised. And if "before I eat, I sigh" [Job 3:24], grant even after my sighs that which I may eat. Lord, bent down I can look only downward; raise me up, that I may be able to strain upward.

"My iniquities have gone over my head," they envelop me, "and like a heavy burden" [Ps 37:5] they weigh me down. Unwind me, unburden me, lest "the pit" of them "shut its mouth over me" [Ps 68:16]. Let it be permitted me to look up at your light, even from afar, even from the depth. Teach me to seek you, and show yourself to the one seeking; for I can neither seek you unless you teach, nor find unless you show yourself. Let me seek you in desiring, let me desire you in seeking. Let me find you in loving, let me love you in finding. I confess, Lord, and give thanks, that you created in me this "your image" [Gen 1:27], so that, mindful of you, I may think of you, may love you.

But it is so worn away by the attrition of vices, so darkened by the smoke of sins, that it cannot do that for which it was made, unless you renew and reform it. I do not attempt, Lord, to penetrate your height, for in no way do I compare my understanding to it; but I desire in some measure to understand your truth, which my heart believes and loves. For I do not seek to understand in order that I may believe, but I believe in order that I may understand. For this too I believe: that "unless I shall have believed, I shall not understand" [Is 7:9]. 2 That God truly exists Therefore, Lord, you who give understanding to faith, grant me to understand, as far as you know it to be expedient, that you exist as we believe, and that you are that which we believe. And indeed we believe you to be something than which nothing greater can be thought.

Is there then no such nature, since "the fool said in his heart: there is no God" [Ps 13:1; 52:1]? But surely that very same fool, when he hears this very thing which I say, namely 'something than which nothing greater can be thought,' understands what he hears; and what he understands is in his understanding, even if he does not understand that it exists. For it is one thing for a thing to be in the understanding, and another to understand that the thing exists. For when a painter beforehand thinks out what he is going to make, he has it indeed in his understanding, but he does not yet understand to exist what he has not yet made. But when he has already painted it, he both has it in his understanding and understands to exist what he has now made.

Therefore even the fool is convinced that there is at least in the understanding something than which nothing greater can be thought, because when he hears this, he understands it, and whatever is understood is in the understanding. And surely that than which a greater cannot be thought cannot be in the understanding alone. For if it is even in the understanding alone, it can be thought to be also in reality; which is greater. If therefore that than which a greater cannot be thought is in the understanding alone: that very thing than which a greater cannot be thought is one than which a greater can be thought. But surely this cannot be. There exists therefore beyond doubt something than which a greater cannot be thought, both in the understanding and in reality. 3 That it cannot be thought not to exist Which indeed so truly exists that it cannot even be thought not to exist.

For there can be thought to exist something which cannot be thought not to exist; which is greater than that which can be thought not to exist. Wherefore if that than which a greater cannot be thought can be thought not to exist: that very thing than which a greater cannot be thought is not that than which a greater cannot be thought; which cannot be consistent. So therefore there truly exists something than which a greater cannot be thought, so that it cannot even be thought not to exist. And this are you, O Lord our God. So therefore you truly exist, O Lord my God, so that you cannot even be thought not to exist. And rightly so. For if any mind could think something better than you, the creature would ascend above the Creator and would judge concerning the Creator; which is utterly absurd.

And indeed whatever is anything other than you alone can be thought not to exist. You alone therefore most truly of all, and therefore most of all, have being, because whatever else exists does not exist so truly, and therefore has less being. Why then "did the fool say in his heart: there is no God" [Ps 13:1; 52:1], when it is so plainly evident to a rational mind that you exist most of all? Why, except because he is stupid and foolish? 4 How the fool said in his heart what cannot be thought But how did he say in his heart what he could not think; or how could he not think what he said in his heart, since to say in the heart and to think are the same? But if truly—nay, because truly—he both thought, because he said in his heart, and did not say in his heart, because he could not think:

something is not said in the heart and thought in only one way. For a thing is thought in one way when the word signifying it is thought, in another way when that very thing which the thing is, is understood. In the former way, then, God can be thought not to exist, but in the latter way not at all. For no one who understands that which God is can think that God does not exist, although he may say these words in his heart, either with no signification at all or with some foreign signification. For God is that than which a greater cannot be thought. And whoever well understands this, surely understands that this very thing so exists that it cannot even in thought fail to exist. Whoever therefore understands God so to exist, cannot think him not to exist.

Thanks to you, good Lord, thanks to you, that what I previously believed by your giving, I now so understand by your enlightening, that, even if I should not wish to believe that you exist, I could not fail to understand it. 5 That God is whatever it is better to be than not to be: and that, existing alone through himself, he makes all other things from nothing What therefore are you, Lord God, than whom nothing greater can be thought? But what are you, except that which, as the highest of all, existing alone through itself, made all other things from nothing? For whatever is not this is less than can be thought. But this cannot be thought of you. What good, then, is lacking to the highest good, through which is every good? You are therefore just, truthful, blessed, and whatever it is better to be than not to be.

For it is better to be just than not just, blessed than not blessed. How God is perceptive, though He is not a body. Since it is better to be perceptive, omnipotent, merciful, and impassible than not to be these things: how art Thou perceptive, if Thou art not a body; or omnipotent, if Thou canst not do all things; or merciful and at the same time impassible? For if only corporeal things are capable of perceiving, since the senses are about a body and within a body, how art Thou perceptive, when Thou art not a body but the highest spirit, who is better than a body? But if to perceive is nothing other than to know, or is only directed toward knowing — for he who perceives knows according to the property of the senses, as colors through sight, flavors through taste —

then it is not improperly said that whatever in some manner knows, in some manner perceives. Therefore, Lord, although Thou art not a body, yet truly Thou art in the highest degree perceptive in that manner whereby Thou knowest all things in the highest degree, not in the manner whereby an animal knows through bodily sense. How God is omnipotent, although He cannot do many things. But how art Thou omnipotent, if Thou canst not do all things? Or if Thou canst not be corrupted, nor lie, nor make the true to be false, so that what has been done should not have been done, and many like things: how canst Thou do all things? Or is the power to do these things not power, but powerlessness? For he who can do these things can do what is not expedient for him and what he ought not. The more he is able to do them, the more adversity and perversity are able to prevail against him, and he the less against them.

He, therefore, who can do thus, can do so not by power but by powerlessness. For he is not said to be able because he himself has power, but because his powerlessness makes something else have power over him; or else it is said by some other manner of speech, just as many things are said improperly. As when we put 'to be' for 'not to be', and 'to do' for that which is 'not to do', or for 'to do nothing'. For we often say to one who denies that some thing exists: it is so, just as you say it to be; whereas it would more properly be said: it is not so, just as you say it not to be. Likewise we say: that man sits, as this one does; or: that man rests, as this one does; whereas 'to sit' is a certain not-doing, and 'to rest' is doing nothing.

Thus then, when one is said to have the power of doing or suffering what is not expedient for him or what he ought not, powerlessness is understood under the name of power; for the more he has this power, the more adversity and perversity have power over him, and he is the more powerless against them. Therefore, O Lord God, Thou art the more truly omnipotent precisely because Thou canst do nothing through powerlessness, and nothing can prevail against Thee. How God is at once merciful and impassible. But how art Thou at once merciful and impassible? For if Thou art impassible, Thou dost not suffer with others; if Thou dost not suffer with others, Thy heart is not made wretched out of compassion for the wretched, which is what it means to be merciful. But if Thou art not merciful, whence comes to the wretched such great consolation?

How then art Thou both merciful and not merciful, O Lord, except that Thou art merciful in respect of us and not merciful in respect of Thyself? For Thou art merciful according to our experience, and not merciful according to Thine own. Indeed, when Thou lookest upon us in our wretchedness, we feel the effect of mercy, but Thou dost not feel the affection of it. And so Thou art merciful, because Thou dost mercifully save and spare Thy sinners; and Thou art not merciful, because Thou art moved by no suffering of compassion for misery. How He who is wholly just and supremely just can spare the wicked, and how He justly has mercy on the wicked. But how dost Thou spare the wicked, if Thou art wholly just and supremely just? For how does one wholly and supremely just do anything not just? Or what justice is it to give eternal life to him who deserves eternal death?

Whence then, O good God, good to the good and to the wicked, whence comes to Thee the saving of the wicked, if this is not just, and Thou doest something not just? Or is it that, because Thy goodness is incomprehensible, this lies hidden in that "unapproachable light wherein Thou dwellest" [1 Tim 6:16]? Truly in the deepest and most secret place of Thy goodness lies hidden the source from which flows the river of Thy mercy. For though Thou art wholly and supremely just, yet for this very reason Thou art kind even to the wicked, because Thou art wholly and supremely good. For Thou wouldst be less good, if Thou wert kind to no wicked man. For he is better who is good both to the good and to the wicked, than he who is good only to the good. And He is better who is good to the wicked both by punishing and by sparing, than He who is good only by punishing.

For this reason therefore Thou art merciful, because Thou art wholly and supremely good. And whereas it may perhaps appear plain why Thou shouldst repay good to the good and evil to the wicked, this surely is wholly to be wondered at: why Thou, who art wholly just and lackest nothing, shouldst bestow good things upon the wicked and upon Thy guilty ones. O the depth of Thy goodness, O God! It is seen whence Thou art merciful, and yet it is not seen through. It is discerned whence the stream flows, and yet the source whence it is born is not perceived. For it is of the fulness of goodness that Thou art tender toward Thy sinners; and it lies hidden in the depth of goodness by what reason Thou art this. For though out of goodness Thou repayest good to the good and evil to the wicked, yet the principle of justice seems to demand this. But when Thou bestowest good upon the wicked:

it is known indeed that the supremely good One willed to do this, and yet it is a marvel why the supremely just One could will this. O mercy, out of how rich a sweetness and sweet richness thou flowest forth to us! O immensity of the goodness of God, with what affection art Thou to be loved by sinners! For the just Thou savest, with justice attending; but the wicked Thou deliverest, with justice condemning. The former by their merits helping, the latter by their merits resisting. The former by acknowledging the good things Thou hast given, the latter by pardoning the evil things Thou hast hated. O measureless goodness, which thus dost exceed all understanding, let that mercy come upon me which proceeds from Thy so great richness! Let that flow into me which flows forth from Thee. Spare through clemency, lest Thou take vengeance through justice.

For although it be hard to understand how Thy mercy is not absent from Thy justice, yet it is necessary to believe that what overflows from goodness — which is nothing without justice — is in no way contrary to it; nay, that it truly agrees with justice. Surely if Thou art merciful because Thou art supremely good, and Thou art not supremely good except because Thou art supremely just: then truly Thou art merciful for this very reason, that Thou art supremely just. Help me, just and merciful God, whose light I seek, help me that I may understand what I say. Truly therefore Thou art merciful for this reason. Is Thy mercy then born of Thy justice? Dost Thou then spare the wicked out of justice? If it is so, Lord, if it is so, teach me how it is so.

Is it because it is just that Thou shouldst be so good that Thou canst not be conceived better, and shouldst work so mightily that Thou canst not be thought of as more mighty? For what is more just than this? But this surely would not come about if Thou wert good only by repaying and not by sparing, and if Thou madest good men only out of those not good, and not also out of the wicked. In this way, then, it is just that Thou shouldst spare the wicked, and shouldst make good men out of the wicked. Finally, what is not done justly ought not to be done; and what ought not to be done is done unjustly. If, therefore, Thou hast mercy on the wicked unjustly, Thou oughtest not to have mercy; and if Thou oughtest not to have mercy, Thou hast mercy unjustly. But since it is wicked to say this, it is right to believe that Thou hast mercy on the wicked justly. How He justly punishes and justly spares the wicked. But it is just that Thou shouldst punish the wicked.

For what is more just than that the good should receive good and the wicked evil? How then is it both just that Thou shouldst punish the wicked, and just that Thou shouldst spare the wicked? Or dost Thou justly punish the wicked in one manner, and justly spare the wicked in another manner? For when Thou punishest the wicked, it is just, because it accords with their deserts; but when Thou sparest the wicked, it is just, not because it accords with their deserts, but because it befits Thy goodness. For in sparing the wicked Thou art just in respect of Thyself and not in respect of us, just as Thou art merciful in respect of us and not in respect of Thyself. For in saving us, whom Thou mightest justly destroy, just as Thou art merciful not because Thou feelest the affection but because we feel the effect, so Thou art just not because Thou renderest to us our due, but because Thou doest what befits Thee, the supremely good.

Thus then without contradiction Thou justly punishest and justly sparest. How all the ways of the Lord are mercy and truth, and yet the Lord is just in all His ways. But is it not also just, in respect of Thee, O Lord, that Thou shouldst punish the wicked? Surely it is just that Thou shouldst be so just that Thou canst not be conceived more just. And this Thou wouldst by no means be, if Thou didst render good only to the good and not evil to the wicked. For he is more just who repays to both the good and the wicked according to their deserts, than he who does so to the good alone. It is therefore just, in respect of Thee, O just and kindly God, both when Thou punishest and when Thou sparest. Truly therefore "all the ways of the Lord are mercy and truth", and yet "the Lord is just in all His ways" [Ps 25:10; 145:17]. And indeed without any contradiction;

for those whom Thou willest to punish, it is not just that they should be saved; and those whom Thou willest to spare, it is not just that they should be condemned. For that alone is just which Thou willest, and that not just which Thou willest not. Thus then Thy mercy is born of Thy justice, because it is just that Thou shouldst be so good that Thou art good even in sparing. And this is perhaps the reason why the supremely just One can will good things for the wicked. But even if it can in some way be grasped why Thou canst will to save the wicked: this surely can by no reasoning be comprehended — why, out of the like wicked, Thou savest these rather than those by Thy supreme goodness, and condemnest those rather than these by Thy supreme justice.

Thus then Thou art truly perceptive, omnipotent, merciful, and impassible, just as Thou art living, wise, good, blessed, eternal — and indeed it is better to be these than not to be. That God is the very life by which He lives, and so of like attributes. But surely whatever Thou art, Thou art not through anything other than through Thyself. Thou art therefore the very life by which Thou livest, and the wisdom by which Thou art wise, and the very goodness by which Thou art good to the good and to the wicked; and so it is with like attributes. How He alone is uncircumscribed and eternal, although other spirits are uncircumscribed and eternal. But everything that is in any way enclosed by place and time is less than that which no law of place or time constrains. Since therefore nothing is greater than Thou, no place or time confines Thee, but Thou art everywhere and always.

And because this can be said of Thee alone, Thou alone art uncircumscribed and eternal. How then are other spirits also said to be uncircumscribed and eternal? And indeed Thou alone art eternal, because Thou alone of all things, even as Thou dost not cease, so dost not begin to be. But how art Thou alone uncircumscribed? Is it that a created spirit, compared to Thee, is circumscribed, but compared to a body is uncircumscribed? Surely that is wholly circumscribed which, when it is somewhere as a whole, cannot at the same time be elsewhere; and this is seen only of corporeal things. But that is uncircumscribed which is at the same time everywhere as a whole; and this is understood of Thee alone. But that is at once circumscribed and uncircumscribed which, when it is somewhere as a whole, can at the same time be wholly elsewhere, yet not everywhere;

and this is recognized of created spirits. For if the soul were not whole in each member of its body, it would not perceive as a whole in each member. Thou therefore, O Lord, art in a singular way uncircumscribed and eternal, and yet other spirits also are uncircumscribed and eternal. How and why God is seen and not seen by those who seek Him. Hast thou found, O my soul, what thou wast seeking? Thou wast seeking God, and thou hast found Him to be a certain highest of all, than which nothing better can be conceived; and that this is life itself, light, wisdom, goodness, eternal blessedness and blessed eternity; and that this is everywhere and always. For if thou hast not found thy God:

how is He that which thou hast found, and that which thou hast understood Him to be with such sure truth and true certainty? But if thou hast indeed found Him: what is it that thou dost not perceive what thou hast found? Why does my soul not perceive Thee, O Lord God, if it has found Thee? Or has it not found Him whom it has found to be light and truth? For how did it understand this, except by seeing light and truth? Or could it understand anything at all of Thee, except through "Thy light and Thy truth" [Ps 43:3]? If, therefore, it saw light and truth, it saw Thee. If it did not see Thee, it saw neither light nor truth. Or is it both truth and light that it saw, and yet it has not yet seen Thee, because it saw Thee in some measure, but did not see Thee "as Thou art" [1 John 3:2]?

O Lord my God, my fashioner and re-fashioner, tell my desiring soul what else Thou art than that which it has seen, that it may purely see what it desires. It strains itself to see more, and sees nothing beyond what it has seen, save darkness; nay, it does not see "darkness, which is none in Thee" [1 John 1:5], but it sees that it can see no further because of its own darkness. Why is this, O Lord, why is this? Is its eye darkened by its own weakness, or beaten back by Thy splendor? Surely it is both darkened in itself and beaten back by Thee. Indeed it is both obscured by its own smallness and overwhelmed by Thy immensity. Truly it is both narrowed by its own straitness and overcome by Thy vastness. For how great is that light, from which flashes every truth that shines upon the rational mind!

How ample is that truth, in which is everything that is true, and outside of which is nothing but nothingness and falsehood! How immense is it, which sees with a single glance whatsoever things have been made, and by whom and through whom and how they were made out of nothing! What purity, what simplicity, what certitude and splendor is there! Surely more than can be understood by a creature. That God is greater than can be conceived. Therefore, Lord, Thou art not only that than which nothing greater can be conceived, but Thou art something greater than can be conceived. For since it is possible to conceive that there is such a being: if Thou art not this very being, then something greater than Thee could be conceived; which cannot be.

That this is the unapproachable light wherein He dwells. Truly, O Lord, this is the "unapproachable light, in which Thou dwellest" [1 Tim 6:16]. For truly there is nothing else that can penetrate it, so as to behold Thee fully there. Truly for this reason I do not see it, because it is too great for me; and yet whatever I see, I see through it, just as a weak eye sees what it sees through the light of the sun, which it cannot look upon in the sun itself. My understanding cannot reach to it. It shines too brightly, my understanding does not grasp it, nor can the eye of my soul bear to gaze long upon it. It is beaten back by the splendor, overcome by the vastness, overwhelmed by the immensity, confounded by the capaciousness. O highest and unapproachable light, O whole and blessed truth, how far art Thou from me, who am so near to Thee!

How remote art Thou from my sight, who am thus present to Thy sight! Everywhere Thou art wholly present, and I do not see Thee. "In Thee I move and in Thee I am" [Acts 17:28], and I cannot draw near to Thee. Thou art within me and around me, and I do not perceive Thee. That in God there is harmony, fragrance, savor, gentleness, beauty, after His own ineffable manner. Still Thou liest hidden, O Lord, from my soul in Thy light and Thy blessedness, and therefore it still dwells in its own darkness and wretchedness. For it looks about and does not see Thy beauty. It listens and does not hear Thy harmony. It smells and does not perceive Thy fragrance. It tastes and does not know Thy savor. It touches and does not feel Thy gentleness.

For Thou hast these things, O Lord God, in Thyself after Thine own ineffable manner, Thou who hast given them to the things created by Thee after their own perceptible manner; but the senses of my soul have grown stiff, have grown numb, have been stopped up by the ancient languor of sin. That in God, and in His eternity, which He Himself is, there are no parts. And again, "behold, trouble" [Jer 14:19]; behold, again sorrow and grief confront the one seeking "joy and gladness" [Ps 51:8]! Already my soul was hoping for satisfaction, and behold, again it is overwhelmed with want! Already I was striving to eat, and behold, all the more I hunger! I was attempting to rise up to the light of God, and I have fallen back into my own darkness. Nay, I have not merely fallen into it, but I feel myself wrapped up in it. I fell before "my mother conceived me".

Surely in those darknesses "was I conceived" [Ps 51:5], and with their wrapping I was born. Surely long ago in him we all fell, "in whom we all sinned" [Rom 5:12]. In him we all lost that which, when we wish for it, we know not how to seek; when we seek it, we do not find it; when we find it, it is not that which we seek — he who held it easily, and to his own and to our hurt lost it for himself and for us. Help Thou me "for Thy goodness' sake, O Lord" [Ps 25:7]. "I have sought Thy face; Thy face, O Lord, will I seek; turn not Thy face from me" [Ps 27:8f]. Lift me up from myself to Thee. Cleanse, heal, sharpen, "enlighten" [Ps 13:3] the eye of my mind, "that it may behold Thee" [Song 6:13]. Let my soul gather again its strength, and with its whole understanding strain once more toward Thee, O Lord.

What art Thou, O Lord, what art Thou; what shall my heart understand Thee to be? Surely Thou art life, Thou art wisdom, Thou art truth, Thou art goodness, Thou art blessedness, Thou art eternity, and Thou art every true good. These are many things, and my narrow understanding cannot see so many at once with a single glance, so as to delight in all of them together. How then, O Lord, art Thou all these things? Are they parts of Thee, or rather is each one of them the whole of what Thou art? For whatever is joined together of parts is not wholly one, but in some manner several and diverse from itself, and can be dissolved either in fact or in understanding; which things are alien to Thee, than whom nothing better can be conceived.

There are therefore no parts in Thee, O Lord, nor art Thou several, but Thou art so one and the same as Thyself, that in nothing art Thou unlike Thyself; nay, Thou art unity itself, divisible by no understanding. Therefore life and wisdom and the rest are not parts of Thee, but all are one, and each one of them is the whole of what Thou art and of what all the rest are. Since therefore neither Thou hast parts, nor Thine eternity, which Thou art: nowhere and never is there a part of Thee or of Thine eternity, but everywhere Thou art whole, and Thine eternity is wholly always. That He is not in place or in time, but all things are in Him. But if through Thine eternity Thou hast been and art and shalt be, and to have been is not to be about to be, and to be is not to have been or to be about to be:

how is Thine eternity wholly always? Or is it that nothing of Thine eternity passes away, so as no longer to be, nor is anything future, as though it did not yet exist? Therefore Thou wast not yesterday nor shalt be tomorrow, but yesterday and today and tomorrow Thou art. Nay, neither yesterday nor today nor tomorrow art Thou, but simply Thou art outside all time. For yesterday and today and tomorrow are nothing else than within time; but Thou, although nothing exists without Thee, art nevertheless not in place or time, but all things are in Thee. For nothing contains Thee, but Thou containest all things. That He is before and beyond all things, even eternal things. Thou therefore dost fill and embrace all things; Thou art before and beyond all things. And indeed Thou art before all things, because "before they were made, Thou art" [Ps 90:2]. But how art Thou beyond all things?

For in what manner art Thou beyond those things which will have no end? Is it because they can in no way exist without Thee, while Thou art in no way less even if they return into nothingness? For thus in some manner Thou art beyond them. Or is it also because they can be conceived as having an end, but Thou by no means? For thus they indeed have an end in some manner, but Thou in no manner. And surely that which in no manner has an end is beyond that which in some manner is brought to an end. Or dost Thou also in this manner surpass all things, even eternal things, because both Thine eternity and theirs is wholly present to Thee, whereas they do not yet have of their eternity that which is to come, just as they no longer have that which is past?

Thus indeed Thou art always beyond them, since Thou art always present to Thyself, or since that is always present to Thee to which they have not yet attained. Whether this is the age of the age, or the ages of the ages. Is this then the age of the age, or the ages of the ages? For just as the age of times contains all temporal things, so Thine eternity contains even the very ages of times. This is indeed an "age" because of its indivisible unity, but "ages" because of its boundless immensity. And although Thou art so great, O Lord, that all things are full of Thee and are in Thee: yet Thou art so without all extension that neither middle nor half nor any part is in Thee.

That Thou alone art that which is, and He who is. Thou alone therefore, O Lord, art that which Thou art, and Thou art He who is. For that which is one thing in the whole and another in its parts, and in which there is something mutable, is not wholly that which it is. And that which has begun from non-being and can be conceived not to be, and, unless it subsists through another, returns into non-being; and that which has a past that no longer is, and a future that not yet is: that is not, properly and absolutely. But Thou art that which Thou art; for whatever Thou art at any time or in any manner, that Thou art wholly and always. And Thou art He who properly and simply is; for Thou hast neither a past nor a future, but only a present being, nor canst Thou be conceived ever not to be.

And Thou art life and light and wisdom and blessedness and eternity, and many such good things, and yet Thou art nothing but one and supreme good; Thou, wholly sufficient unto Thyself, needing nothing, whom all things need in order to be, and in order to be well. That this good is at once the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit: and that this is the one necessary thing, which is the whole and the entire and the sole good. This good art Thou, O God the Father; this is Thy Word, that is, Thy Son. For there cannot be anything in the Word by which Thou speakest Thyself, other than what Thou art, nor anything greater or less than Thee; since Thy Word is so true as Thou art truthful, and therefore it is Truth itself, even as Thou art, no other than Thou;

and Thou art so simple, that there cannot be born of Thee anything other than what Thou art. This very thing is the one Love common to Thee and to Thy Son, that is, the Holy Spirit proceeding from both. For this same Love is not unequal to Thee or to Thy Son; for Thou lovest Thyself and Him, and He loveth Thee and Himself, as much as Thou art and He is; nor is that other than Thee and Him, which is not unequal to Thee and Him; nor can there proceed from the supreme simplicity anything other than that from which it proceeds. But that which each single one is, this is the whole Trinity together, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit; for each single one is nothing other than the supremely simple unity and the supremely one simplicity, which can neither be multiplied nor be this and that.

"Moreover, one thing is necessary" [Luke 10:42]. Moreover, this is that one necessary thing, in which is every good, nay, which is every and one and whole and sole good. A conjecture as to what and how great this good is. Rouse thyself now, O my soul, and lift up thy whole understanding, and consider, as much as thou canst, what and how great is that good. For if individual good things are delightful, consider intently how delightful is that good which contains the pleasantness of all good things; and not such as we have experienced in created things, but as much differing as the Creator differs from the creature. For if created life is good: how good is the creating Life? If made salvation is so pleasant: how pleasant is the salvation that makes all salvation?

If wisdom is lovely in the knowledge of created things: how lovely is the Wisdom that created all things out of nothing? Finally, if there are many and great delights in delightful things: what kind and how great is the delight in Him who made the very delightful things? What and how great are the good things for those who enjoy Him. O, he who shall enjoy this good: what shall be his, and what shall not be his! Surely whatever he wills shall be, and what he wills not shall not be. There indeed shall be good things of body and soul, such as "eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor hath it entered into the heart of man" [1 Cor 2:9]. Why then dost thou wander through many things, O little man, seeking the good things of thy soul and of thy body? Love the one good, in which are all goods, and it suffices.

Desire the simple good, which is every good and is enough. For what dost thou love, O my flesh, what dost thou desire, O my soul? There it is, there it is, whatsoever ye love, whatsoever ye desire. If beauty delights you: "the just shall shine forth as the sun" [Matt 13:43]. If swiftness or strength or freedom of body, which nothing can withstand: "they shall be like the angels of God" [Matt 22:30]; for "it is sown a natural body, and shall rise a spiritual body" [1 Cor 15:44] — in power, that is, not in nature. If long and healthful life: there is sound eternity and eternal soundness; for "the just shall live for evermore, and the salvation of the just is from the Lord" [Ps 37:39]. If satiety: they shall be satisfied, "when the glory of God shall appear" [Ps 17:15]. If intoxication:

"they shall be inebriated with the plenty of the house of God" [Ps 36:8]. If melody: there the choirs of angels sing together unto God without end. If any pleasure that is not impure but pure: God "shall make them drink of the torrent of His pleasure" [Ps 36:8]. If wisdom: the very Wisdom of God shall show itself to them. If friendship: they shall love God more than themselves, and one another as themselves, and God shall love them more than they love themselves; for they love Him and themselves and one another through Him, and He loves Himself and them through Himself. If concord: all of them shall have one will, because they shall have none but the sole will of God. If power: they shall be omnipotent over their own will, as God is over His. For just as God shall be able to do what He wills through Himself, so shall they be able to do what they will through Him;

for just as they shall will nothing other than what He wills, so He shall will whatsoever they will; and what He shall will cannot fail to be. If honor and riches: God shall set His "good and faithful servants over many things" [Matt 25:21, 23]; nay, they shall be called and shall be "sons of God" and gods [Matt 5:9; Ps 82:6]; and where His Son shall be, there shall they also be, "heirs indeed of God, and joint-heirs with Christ" [Rom 8:17]. If true security: surely they shall be as certain that this — or rather this good — shall never and in no way fail them, as they are certain that they will not of their own accord lose it, nor will the God who loves them take it away from His lovers against their will, nor shall anything more powerful than God separate God and them against their will.

But of what kind and how great is the joy, where there is so good and so great a good? O human heart, needy heart, heart that hast known hardships, nay, art overwhelmed with hardships: how much wouldst thou rejoice, if thou didst abound in all these things? Ask thine inmost self, whether it could contain its own joy at so great a blessedness of its own. But surely, if some other person, whom thou shouldst love altogether as thyself, possessed the same blessedness, thy joy would be doubled, because thou wouldst rejoice for him no less than for thyself. And if two or three or many more possessed the very same, thou wouldst rejoice as much for each as for thyself, if thou didst love each as thyself.

Therefore in that perfect love of innumerable blessed angels and men, where no one shall love another less than himself, each shall rejoice for each of the others no otherwise than for himself. If then the heart of man shall scarcely contain its own joy at its own so great good: how shall it be capable of so many and so great joys? And surely, since each one rejoices over the good of another in proportion as he loves him: just as in that perfect felicity each shall love God beyond comparison more than himself and all the others with himself, so shall he rejoice beyond all estimation more over the felicity of God than over his own and that of all the others with himself.

But if they shall so love God "with their whole heart, with their whole mind, with their whole soul" [Matt 22:37], that nevertheless the whole heart, the whole mind, the whole soul shall not suffice for the worthiness of that love: assuredly they shall so rejoice "with their whole heart, with their whole mind, with their whole soul", that the whole heart, the whole mind, the whole soul shall not suffice for the fulness of that joy. Whether this is the full joy which the Lord promises. My God and my Lord, my hope and the joy of my heart, tell my soul, whether this is the joy of which Thou tellest us through Thy Son: "Ask and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full" [John 16:24]. For I have found a certain joy that is full, and more than full. For when heart is full, mind full, soul full, the whole man full of that joy:

even then joy shall remain over beyond measure. Therefore not all that joy shall enter into those who rejoice, but those who rejoice shall wholly enter into joy. Say, O Lord, say to Thy servant inwardly in his heart, whether this is the joy into which Thy servants shall enter, who shall enter "into the joy of their Lord" [Matt 25:21]. But surely that joy, wherewith Thine elect shall rejoice, "eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, nor hath it entered into the heart of man" [1 Cor 2:9]. Not yet therefore have I told or conceived, O Lord, how greatly those blessed ones of Thine shall rejoice. Surely they shall rejoice as much as they shall love; they shall love as much as they shall know. How much shall they know Thee then, O Lord, and how much shall they love Thee?

Surely 'neither has eye seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man' in this life how greatly they will know You and love You in that life. I pray, O God, that I may know You, may love You, that I may rejoice in You. And if I cannot do so to the full in this life, may I at least advance day by day, until that fullness comes. May the knowledge of You grow in me here, and there be made complete; may Your love increase, and there be made full, so that here my joy may be great in hope, and there be full in reality. Lord, through Your Son You command—nay, You counsel us to ask—and You promise that we shall receive, 'that our joy may be full.' I ask, Lord, what You counsel through our 'wonderful Counsellor';

that I may receive what You promise through Your truth, 'that my joy may be full.' O God of truth, I ask that I may receive, 'that my joy may be full.' Meanwhile let my mind meditate upon it, let my tongue speak of it. Let my heart love it, let my mouth discourse of it. Let my whole soul hunger for it, let my flesh thirst for it, let my entire substance long for it, until I 'enter into the joy of my Lord,' who is the triune and one God, 'blessed forever. Amen.'