Select Orations (2/40/43) 1-1 part 4/4

who, while not yet having had leisure, nor having learned to speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom, being still an infant, still nourished with milk, still among those not numbered in Israel nor enrolled in the array of God, not yet able as a man to take up the cross of Christ, not yet perhaps even being one of the more honorable members—shall he then receive gladly and eagerly to be set as a head over the fullness of Christ? Not, at least, with me for judge and counselor.

But this is the greatest of fears, this the last of dangers, to everyone who understands both the greatness of doing well and the ruin of failing.

Let another, then, sail for trade, I said, and traverse the long seas, and ever be carried along with the winds and the waves—he who will gain great things, if it so fall out, and will also run great risks, being most fit to sail and most fit for trade;

but for me it is more choiceworthy to keep to the land, cutting a short and sweet furrow, and from afar saluting gain and the sea, to live thus as best I can with my little and scanty barley-cake, and to draw out a life safe and free from waves, rather than to cast up a long and great danger for the sake of great gains.

For to a lofty man it is a loss not to attempt greater things, nor to extend his virtue to more, but to halt among small things—like a great light illumining a small house, or a youth's full armor covering a child's body;

but for a small man it is safety to be burdened with small things, and not, by placing himself under what is beyond his strength, both to incur ridicule and to add danger thereto;

just as indeed it befits no other to build a tower than him who has the means for its completion, as we have heard.

You have my defense for my flight, and perhaps not an immoderate one.

The things, then, that led me away from you, O friends and brethren—painful, perhaps, both to me and to you, yet necessary, as at least I then thought for myself—are these.

But what brought me back was above all my longing for you, and the perceiving that you longed for me in return;

for nothing is so strong toward love as a disposition given in return.

so that, even disregarding philosophy itself—the most precious of all my possessions and titles—or, to speak more truly, that I might not seem to be no philosopher after having first played the philosopher, I could not bear to let my labor fall to ruin from a single cause, nor to let dissolved the blessing which one of the holy men of old is even said to have stolen, outwitting his father by means of food and a contrivance of hair, and craftily hunting down the good by no good means.

And perhaps it was not out of place for my reasonings to yield and give way to both of those, since there is a time even for being overcome, just as, I think, there is for every matter;

and it is better to be honorably defeated than to conquer perilously and unlawfully.

And third—which is also the greatest—and having said just this much, I will keep silence about the rest.

I remembered the days of old, and running back to one of the ancient histories, I drew thence counsel for myself for the present circumstances;

for let us not think that these things were written at random, nor that they are a mere crowd of words and deeds, composed for the entertainment of the hearers, and standing, as it were, as some bait for the ear that goes no further than pleasure.

Such things are the myths of triflers and of the Greeks, who, caring little for the truth, with the elegance of their fabrications and the daintiness of their phrases bewitch both the ear and the soul.

But we, who draw out the exactness even down to the chance stroke and line of the Spirit, will never accept—for it is not lawful—that even the least of the deeds were studied at random by those who recorded them and preserved by memory unto the present;

but rather, that we might have memorials and instructions for the consideration of like situations, should the occasion ever befall;

so that we should flee some things and choose others, following the examples that have gone before us as certain rules and patterns.

What, then, is the history, and from where the counsel? For it is perhaps not the worse, for the sake of the security of the many, to go through it.

Jonah too fled from the face of God—or rather, he thought to flee;

but he was overtaken by the deep, and by the storm, and by the lot, and by the belly of the great fish, and by a three-days' burial, which holds a type of a greater mystery.

But he, indeed, fled lest he should announce to the Ninevites the gloomy and unwelcome message, and afterward be convicted as a liar, when the city should be saved by repentance;

for he was not vexed at the salvation of the wicked, but he was ashamed of being made a servant of falsehood, and as it were he was jealous for the credibility of prophecy, which there was danger of being destroyed in him, since the many were unable to discern the depth of God's economy in these matters.

But as I once heard from a man wise in these matters, who not unreasonably came to the aid of what appears absurd in the history, and was competent to grasp the profundity of a prophet's man—not even these were the things that made the blessed Jonah a fugitive, and led him to Joppa, and from Joppa brought him up toward Tarshish, entrusting his theft to the deep;

for it was not likely that he, being a prophet, should be ignorant of God's purpose;

namely, that through the threat God was contriving for the Ninevites the not suffering of the things of the threat, according to His great wisdom, and according to His unsearchable judgments, and the untraceable and incomprehensible nature of His ways;

nor, if indeed he did know it, that he should fail to follow God, who was devising salvation for those people by the very means He willed.

It would be absurd and uninstructed, and not such as it is right to believe concerning a prophet—nay, not even concerning any other of those who possess understanding and have even a moderate perception of God and of the power that is above all things.

But Jonah knew this above all, says the one who told the account, and I am persuaded, namely, to what end the proclamation tended for the Ninevites, and that, in plotting his escape, he was changing place but not fleeing from God;

for neither could any other of men—neither by hiding himself in the bosoms of the earth, nor in the depths of the sea, nor lifted up on wings, if there were any such contrivance, and running up into the air, nor by conversing with the lowermost places of Hades, nor by wrapping himself in the thickness of a cloud, nor by devising any other of all things whatever for the security of his flight—

but this alone of all things, most inescapable and most invincible—when God wills to seize and to take under His hand—He overtakes the swift, trips up the prudent, overturns the strong, humbles the lofty, tames boldness, presses down power.

Therefore Jonah, who threatened others with the mighty hand of God, was not ignorant of it, nor did he intend, as one who would altogether flee, to escape the Deity—let us not believe this;

but, since he saw the falling away of Israel, and perceived the prophetic grace passing over to the nations, for this cause he withdraws from the proclamation, and defers the command;

and leaving behind the watch-post of joy—for this is what Joppa signifies to the Hebrews, I mean the ancient height and dignity—he cast himself into the sea of grief;

and on this account he is storm-tossed, and sleeps, and is shipwrecked, and is roused from sleep, and is chosen by lot, and confesses his flight, and is cast into the sea, and is indeed swallowed by the great fish, yet is not consumed;

but there he calls upon God, and—the wonder of it—on the third day is given up together with Christ.

But let the discourse concerning this wait, to be worked out more diligently a little later, if God grant it.

But now, returning to that toward which my discourse set out, it occurs to me to consider and to suppose that for him there was perhaps even some pardon, in shrinking from the prophecy for the cause I mentioned;

but for me, what word, or what room for defense, was left, who was rebelling all the more, and refusing the yoke of the ministry—whether one ought to call it light or heavy, I do not know, but the yoke that had at any rate been laid upon me?

For if one should grant this—which is the only strong thing to say in these matters—that we lie far below being a priest to God, and that one ought first to be worthy of the Church, then of the sanctuary, and of this first, then of the presidency;

even so, another will perhaps not release us from the charge of disobedience.

Long perplexed by these things, and weighing myself on both sides, or rather, like a stream bent this way and that by unsteady winds, I came at last under the stronger force; and fear of disobedience overcame me and swept me along.

And consider how rightly and justly I arbitrate between my fears: neither grasping at an oversight that is not granted, nor thrusting away the one that is given.

For the one belongs to the presumptuous, the other to the disobedient and untaught—both alike faults.

I stand somewhere in the middle, between the over-bold and the too timid:

more cautious than those who leap at every charge, more courageous than those who flee them all.

Thus do I judge concerning these matters.

And to distinguish yet more clearly: as for the fear of taking the oversight, perhaps even the law of obedience may come to its aid, since God repays faith through His own goodness, and perfects into a complete leader the man who has trusted in Him and set all his hopes upon Him.

But for the danger of disobedience, I do not know who will be the helper, or what word will bid me take courage.

For there is fear lest we hear this concerning those committed to us: that I will require their souls at your hands;

and, As you have rejected Me from being rulers and princes over My people, so will I also reject you from being king over you;

and, As you did not hearken to My voice, but turned a stubborn back and were disobedient;

so shall it be, when you call upon Me;

and I will not regard your prayer, nor will I hearken.

May it never be that such words come to us from the righteous Judge—to whom, though we sing of mercy, yet must we surely sing also of judgment.

But again I am carried back to the history; and surveying the most approved among the men of old, I find that of all whom grace ever put forward to oversight or prophecy, some readily yielded to the call, while others deferred the gift;

and neither was blameworthy—neither the timidity of those who shrank back, nor the eagerness of those who pressed forward.

For the former feared the greatness of the ministry;

while the latter, trusting in Him who called, followed.

Isaiah obeyed readily;

but Jeremiah feared his youth, and did not take courage for the prophecy until he had received from God both a promise and a power surpassing his age.

With these reasonings I charm myself, and little by little my soul yields and is softened, like iron;

and I take time as a fellow-worker of my reasonings, and the righteous ordinances of God as my counsel, to which I have entrusted my whole life.

And I fall down and humble myself under the mighty hand of God, and ask pardon for my former sloth and disobedience, if indeed this be a charge against me.

I was silent, but I will not be silent forever.

I withdrew a little, just enough to examine myself and to give some comfort to my grief;

but now I have accepted to exalt Him in the assembly of the people, and to praise Him in the seat of the elders.

If those former things deserved accusation, these deserve pardon.

What need is there of longer words? You have us, O shepherds and fellow-shepherds;

you have us, O holy flock, worthy of Christ the Chief Shepherd;

you have me, O father, conquered in all things, and more obedient under the laws of Christ than under those of the outside world.

You have my obedience; render the blessing.

Lead me too by the hand with your prayers, guide me with your word, strengthen me with the Spirit.

A father's blessing establishes the houses of his children;

and may we be established—both I and this spiritual house which I have chosen, and which I pray may become my resting-place forever and ever—when I am sent on from the Church here to the one beyond, to the festal assembly of the firstborn enrolled in heaven.

Such, then, is my plea, and so reasonable.

And may the God of peace, who has made both one and given us back to one another, who sets kings upon thrones and raises up the poor from the earth and lifts the needy from the dunghill,

take to Himself glory, shepherding those who shepherd, and guiding those who guide;

that we may shepherd His flock with knowledge, and not with the implements of an unskilled shepherd—the flock laid up of old, the one under blessing, the other under a curse;

may He Himself give power and strength to His people;

and may He present to Himself the flock radiant and spotless, worthy of the fold above, in the dwelling of those who rejoice, in the splendor of the saints;

that in His temple we may all say, Glory—flock and shepherds together—in Christ Jesus our Lord;

to whom be all glory unto the ages of ages. Amen.