Homilies on Ephesians 21

Children, obey your parents in the Lord.

Honour your father and mother — which is the first commandment with a promise — that it may be well with you, and that you may live long upon the earth.

Just as one who is fashioning a body first sets the head, then the neck, and then the feet, so also the blessed Paul advances in his discourse.

He spoke concerning the husband, he spoke concerning the wife — the second form of rule.

He now proceeds, walking along the road, to the third.

And this is the rule concerning children.

For the husband rules the wife, but over the children rule both the husband and the wife.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord.

For this is the first commandment with promises.

Nor even here does he discourse concerning Christ, nor concerning lofty matters.

For he is still speaking to tender minds.

He gives the exhortation, seeing that children are not able to follow a long discourse.

For this reason he does not discourse to them of the kingdom either.

For it does not belong to that age to hear such things.

But those things which a childlike soul most longs to hear, these he speaks — namely, that he shall be long-lived.

For if anyone should inquire why he did not discourse concerning the kingdom, but laid before them the commandment set down in the Law, we shall say that it is because they were rather childlike; and knowing full well that, when husband and wife are so disposed according to the law he laid down, it is no great labour to bring the children into subjection.

For when a matter receives a beginning and foundation that is good, strong, and orderly, everything thereafter proceeds by way and by rule with much ease.

For the harder task is to lay the foundation and to set down the base.

Children, he says, obey your parents in the Lord.

God, he says, has thus commanded.

What then, if they should command what is improper? Most surely a father never enjoins what is improper, even though he himself be improper.

Yet nevertheless, even so he made it secure by saying —

that is, in whatever things you do not give offence to God.

So that if he be a pagan or a heretic, one is no longer bound to obey.

For the matter is not in the Lord.

But how does he say, 'which is the first commandment'? For the first is, 'You shall not commit adultery,' and 'You shall not kill.'

He did not call it first in order, but first in respect of the promise.

For to those commandments no reward is attached, seeing that they are ordained concerning evil deeds and the abstaining from evils.

But to these, since they concern the doing of good, a promise also is attached.

And observe how he laid, as a wondrous base for the road of virtue, honour and reverence toward parents.

Having led them away from wicked deeds, and being about to bring them into good works, this he enjoined first — I mean honour toward parents — since, next after God, they above all are the authors of our living.

So that it is fitting that they should first of all enjoy our good things, and then all other men afterward.

For unless one possesses this, he will never be gentle toward those outside.

Having therefore exhorted the children in what was needful, he passes on to the fathers, and says —

And you fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

For this even nature itself draws them to, though against their will, and it were superfluous to lay down a law about such things.

But what does he say? 'Do not provoke your children to anger' — as many do, disinheriting them, disowning them, and pressing upon them oppressively, not as upon free persons, but as upon slaves.

Do not provoke your children to anger.

Then he shows the sum of all — how they may render obedience — by tracing the whole cause back to the head and the source.

And just as he showed that the husband becomes the cause of the wife's obedience (wherefore he addresses the greater part of his words to him, calling upon him to draw her by the sovereignty of love), so here too he again refers the cause back to him, saying —

But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Do you see that, where spiritual things are present, carnal things also follow? Do you wish your son to be obedient? From the very beginning bring him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Do not think it superfluous for him to give heed to the divine Scriptures.

For there he will first of all hear this —

Honour your father and your mother.

So that this comes about for your own benefit.

For am I making him a monk? There is no necessity that he become a monk.

Why do you dread that which is full of much gain? Make him a Christian.

For it is especially necessary for those living in the world to know the lessons that come from here — especially for children.

For there is much folly at that age.

And to that folly there is added also what comes from outside teachings, when they learn there that the heroes admired among them are slaves of the passions and cowardly in the face of death.

As when Achilles is repenting, when he is dying for the sake of a concubine, when another is drunken, and many other such things.

He has need, therefore, of these remedies.

For how is it not absurd to send them off to trades and to school, and to do everything for the sake of this,

and yet not to bring up the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? And on this very account we ourselves are the first to reap the fruits, since we rear our children to be insolent, dissolute, disobedient, and vulgar.

Let us not, then, do this, but let us obey this blessed one who exhorts us —

let us bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Let us give them an example, causing them from their earliest age to be occupied with the reading of the Scriptures.

I know that, in saying these things continually, I am thought to be talking nonsense.

Nevertheless, I will not cease from doing my part. Tell me, for what reason do you not imitate the ancients? Above all, you women, emulate those admirable women.

Has a child been born to you? Imitate Hannah.

Learn thoroughly what she did.

She brought him up straightway to the temple.

Which of you would not wish that her own son should become, but once, a Samuel, rather than ten thousand times a king of the whole world? And how, one says, is it possible for him to become such? Why is it not possible? Because you do not will it, nor do you hand him over to those who are able to make him such.

And who, one asks, is such a one? God.

For she too committed him into His hands.

For neither was Eli among those who were very able to fashion him.

For how could he be, who was not even able to fashion his own sons? But the faith of the woman and her zeal wrought this very thing.

She bore her first and only child, and did not even know whether she would bear others.

Shall I wait for the child to grow up, that he may deal with the affairs of this life?

I might have allowed him to linger a little while in the age of childhood;

but the woman thrust all these things aside and cared for one thing alone: how, from the very beginning, she might dedicate to God this spiritual statue.

Let us men be put to shame by the true wisdom of this woman;

she offered him up to God, and there she left him.

For this reason her marriage also became more glorious, because she first sought the things of the spirit, because she offered up the firstfruits;

for this reason her womb became fruitful, and she gained other children as well;

for this reason she also saw him held in high esteem in the world.

For if human beings who are honoured repay honour for honour, how much more will God, who does this even without first being honoured? How long shall we be flesh? How long shall we bend down toward the earth? Let all things be secondary for us to the care of our children, and to their being nurtured in the instruction and admonition of the Lord.

If a child learns from the outset to be a lover of wisdom, he has acquired a wealth greater than all wealth, and a glory more powerful than any.

You will accomplish nothing so great by teaching him a trade and the learning that comes from outside, whereby he will acquire money, as you will if you teach him the art by which he will despise money.

If you wish to make him rich, do it in this way.

For the rich man is not he who needs much money and is clothed with many possessions, but he who has need of nothing.

Teach this to your son; instruct him in this;

Do not seek how you may make him esteemed in outward learning and render him renowned, but take thought how you may teach him to despise the glory of this present life;

for from that source he would become more illustrious and more glorious.

These things it is possible for both the poor man and the rich man to do;

one learns these things not from a teacher, nor through any craft, but through the divine oracles.

Do not seek how he may live a long life here, but how he may live there a boundless and endless one.

Bestow on him the great things, not the small.

Nurture them in the instruction and admonition of the Lord.

Do not be eager to make him an orator, but train him to love wisdom.

For if the former be lacking, there will be no harm;

but if the latter be absent, ten thousand oratory will be of no gain.

There is need of character, not of words; of moral disposition, not of cleverness; of deeds, not of mere speech.

These things procure the kingdom; these bestow the goods that are truly good.

Do not sharpen his tongue, but cleanse his soul.

I say this not to forbid your teaching these outward things, but to forbid your attending to those alone.

Do not suppose that only the monk has need of this instruction drawn from the Scriptures;

for above all it is the children destined to enter into this worldly life who have need of these things.

For just as the equipping of a ship, a pilot, and a full complement of sailors is needed not by him who stands forever at the harbour,

but by him who is always upon the sea;

so it is also with the man of the world and with the monk.

For the one, as though in a waveless harbour, lives an untroubled life, delivered from every storm;

but the other is always on the open sea, and sails in the midst of the deep, contending against many towering waves;

and even if he himself have no need of it, yet he must be prepared, so as to stop the mouths of others.

So that the more esteemed a man becomes in this present life, the more he has need of this instruction.

For if he be reared in royal courts, there are many there—both pagans and philosophers, and men puffed up over their present glory—like some place filled with dropsical patients.

Such a thing are the royal courts;

all are puffed up and inflamed;

and those who are not yet so are eager to become such.

Consider, then, what a thing it is that your son, on entering there, should enter like a most excellent physician, with the instruments able to reduce each man's inflammation, and approach each one and converse with him, and make the ailing body whole, applying the remedies drawn from the Scriptures, and pouring forth the words concerning the love of wisdom.

For with whom shall the monk converse? With the wall and the roof? Or with the wilderness and the wooded glens? Or with the birds and the trees? He, then, has no great need of such teaching;

yet nonetheless he makes it his business to accomplish this—not so much to instruct others as to instruct himself.

There is, then, great need of such teaching, above all for those who move about in this worldly life;

for such a man has a greater necessity of sinning than the other.

And if you wish to know it, even in the world itself he will be more fit and capable.

For all will stand in awe of him because of those words, when they see him not burning in the fire, nor coveting office;

then too he will attain to it, when he does not desire it, and he will be more venerable even to the emperor.

For it is not possible for such a man to remain hidden.

For among many who are healthy the healthy man will pass unnoticed;

but among many who are sick, when there is one who is healthy, quickly the report will run even to the royal ears, and will set him over many nations.

Knowing these things, then, nurture your children in the instruction and admonition of the Lord.

But is someone poor? Poor once again;

yet he will be in no way meaner than one who moves about in royal courts merely because he is not in royal courts; rather he will be admired, and will quickly come to a rule that is freely given, not one bestowed by appointment.

For if certain Greeks—men worth but three obols, mere dogs—by taking up such a threepenny philosophy (for such is the Greek philosophy), or rather not even that, but the mere name of it, and by wrapping themselves in a threadbare cloak and letting their hair grow long, awe many people;

how much more the man who is truly a lover of wisdom? If a false appearance, if the mere shadow of philosophy so captivates, what if we should love the true and unfeigned wisdom? Will not all pay court to him? And will they not entrust their houses and wives and children to such men with much confidence? But there is not—there is not such a philosopher now.

For this reason it is not even possible to find the example.

For among the monks there are such men, but among worldly people no longer.

And that among the monks there are such, it is possible to bring forward many;

nevertheless I will speak of one out of the many.

You surely know, and have heard—and some of you have even beheld—the man of whom I am now about to speak;

I mean the wondrous Julian.

This man was a rustic, humble and of humble parentage;

wholly inexperienced in outward learning, but filled with the unfeigned love of wisdom.

When this man came into the cities (though this happened but rarely), such a great throng would gather as gathered for neither orators nor sophists nor any other who might make his entrance.

But why do I say this? Is not his very name sung more gloriously than that of all kings, even now to this day? And if these things are so in this world—in the world in which the Master promised us no good thing, in which He said we are strangers—let us consider how great are the good things laid up in the heavens;

if where they were but sojourners they enjoyed such great honour, where the cities are, how great a glory shall they enjoy? If where He promised tribulation there was such great veneration, where in truth

promises honours, how great will the repose be? But do you wish that we should point also to worldly men? For at present we have none;

except that there are perhaps also worldly men who are decent, yet who have not attained to the summit of wisdom.

Therefore I will set before you the examples drawn from the men of old and the saints.

How many men, though they had wives and were rearing children, possessed nothing less than those we have named, nothing less at all? But now this is no longer so, because of the present necessity, as this blessed man says.

Whom, then, do you wish me to name? Noah, or Abraham? The son of the one, or of the other? Or shall it be Joseph? Or do you wish us to come to the prophets? I mean Moses, and Isaiah.

But, if it seems good, let us draw our discourse to Abraham, whom above all others everyone is forever putting forward to us.

Did he not have a wife? Did he not have children? For indeed I too say this very thing to you, which you say to us.

He had a wife, but it was not because he had a wife that he was admirable;

he had wealth, but it was not because he had wealth that he pleased God;

he begot children, but it was not because he begot children that he was called blessed;

he possessed three hundred and eighteen home-born servants, but it was not on this account that he was admired.

But do you wish to learn from what he was admired? From his hospitality, from his contempt for riches, from his sobriety of conduct.

For tell me, what is the mark of a philosopher? Is it not to despise both wealth and glory? And to be superior to envy and to every passion? Come then, let us bring him forward into our midst and strip him bare, and let us show you what manner of philosopher he was.

First of all, he counted his fatherland as nothing;

for he heard, 'Depart out of your land, and out of your kindred';

not out of love for familiar custom, nor for any other thing whatever.

Then above all men he despised glory and riches;

for indeed, when he had routed the enemy in war and was deemed worthy to take the spoils, he spurned them.

But his son too was admired again, not for his riches, but for his hospitality; not for his children, but for his obedience; not for his wife, but for the barrenness that was upon his wife.

They counted the present life as nothing; they did not busy themselves with money-making; they looked down upon all things.

For tell me, which plants are the best? Are they not those which have their strength from within themselves, and are harmed neither by rains, nor by hail, nor by the rushing of winds, nor by any other such inclemency, but stand naked, despising all things, needing neither copings nor fences? Such is the philosopher, such is that wealth of his:

he has nothing, and he has all things;

he has all things, and he has nothing.

For the wall is not within, but from outside; the coping is not part of nature, but is cast about it from without.

And what, tell me? What kind of body is strong? Is it not the one that is healthy, and is overtaken neither by hunger, nor by surfeit, nor by cold, nor by heat;

or the one that is subject to all these things, and stands in need of caterers and weavers and hunters and physicians, in order that it may be well? He is the rich man, the one who is truly a philosopher, the one who needs none of these things.

Therefore this blessed man said:

'Bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.'

Do not, then, cast copings about them from without;

for this is wealth, this is glory.

For when these things fall away—and fall away they do—the plant stands naked and easily overthrown, having not only gained nothing in the time that is past, but even having been harmed.

For those very copings, which prevented it from being exercised against the assaults of the winds, have now caused it suddenly to fall.

So that wealth does more harm, rendering men untrained for the vicissitudes of life.

Let us then so prepare our children, that they may be able to withstand all things, and not be dismayed by whatever befalls them;

let us bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord, and great will be the reward laid up for us.

For if men who make statues of kings and paint their portraits enjoy such great honor,

shall not we, who adorn the royal image (for man is the image of God), enjoy ten thousand good things, if we render back the likeness? For this is the likeness—the virtue of the soul—when we train our children to be good, when we make them free from anger, when we make them ready to forgive wrongs;

all these things are proper to God—when we make them beneficent, when we make them loving toward mankind, when we train them to count present things as nothing.

Let this, then, be our task: to fashion and to order rightly both ourselves and them unto what is needful;

since with what boldness shall we stand before the judgment-seat of Christ? For if the man who has undisciplined children is unworthy of the office of bishop, much more is he unworthy of the kingdom of heaven.

What do you say? Even if we have a disorderly wife, even if we have disorderly children, shall we render account? Yes, unless we contribute with all diligence what lies within our own power;

for our own virtue does not suffice for salvation.

For if the man who did not put down his one talent gained nothing, but even so is punished,

it is clear that one's own virtue does not suffice for salvation, but there is need also of another's.

Let us then take much thought also for our wives, much forethought also for our children and our household servants, and much for ourselves also; and, both in ordering ourselves and in ordering them aright, let us call upon God, that He may join in taking up the work with us.

If He sees us caring for this, taking thought for it, He will join in the labor;

but if He sees us making no account of it, He will not lend a hand.

For God does not furnish His help to us while we sleep, but while we ourselves also toil.

For the helper is not the helper of him who is idle, but of him who is himself also at work.

And the good God is able of Himself to bring the work to its consummation, that we may all be counted worthy to attain the good things that have been promised, by the grace and loving-kindness of our Lord Jesus Christ, with whom to the Father, together with the Holy Spirit, be glory, might, and honor, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.