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Τί γὰρ σεμνὸν φιλοσοφοῦντες ἐξηνέγκατε; Τίς δὲ τῶν πάνυ σπουδαίων ἀλαζονείας ἔξω καθέστηκεν; Διογένης, πιθάκνης καυχήματι τὴν αὐτάρκειαν σεμνυνόμενος, πολύποδος ὠμοβορίᾳ πάθει συσχεθεὶς ἰλέῳ διὰ τὴν ἀκρασίαν ἀποτέθνηκεν. Ἀρίστιππος ἐν πορφυρίδι περιπατῶν ἀξιοπίστως ἠσωτεύσατο. Πλάτων φιλοσοφῶν ὑπὸ Διονυσίου διὰ γαστριμαργίαν ἐπιπράσκετο. Καὶ Ἀριστοτέλης, ἀμαθῶς ὅρον τῇ προνοίᾳ θεὶς καὶ τὴν εὐδαιμονίαν ἐν οἷς ἠρέσκετο περιγράψας, λίαν ἀπαιδεύτως Ἀλέξανδρον μὴ μεμνημένος μειράκιον ἐκολάκευεν· ὅστις ἀριστοτελικῶς πάνυ τὸν ἑαυτοῦ φίλον διὰ τὸ μὴ βούλεσθαι αὐτὸν προσκυνεῖν καθείρξας ὥσπερ ἄρκτον ἢ πάρδαλιν περιέφερε. Πάνυ γοῦν ἐπείθετο τοῖς τοῦ διδασκάλου δόγμασι, τὴν ἀνδρείαν καὶ τὴν ἀρετὴν συμποσίοις ἐπιδεικνύμενος, καὶ τὸν οἰκεῖον καὶ πάνυ φίλτατον διαπείρων τῷ δόρατι, καὶ πάλιν κλαίων καὶ ἀποκαρτερῶν προφάσει λύπης, ἵνα ὑπὸ τῶν οἰκείων μὴ μισηθῇ. Γελάσαιμιδ ἄν καὶ τοὺς μέχρι νῦν τοῖς δόγμασιν αὐτοῦ καταχρωμένους· οἳ τὰ μετὰ σελήνην ἀπρονόητα λέγοντες εἶναι, προσγειότεροι παρὰ τὴν σελήνην ὑπάρχοντες καὶ κατώτεροι τοῦ ταύτης δρόμου, προνοοῦσι τῶν ἀπρονοήτων· παρ οἷς δὲ οὐκ ἔστι κάλλος, οὐ πλοῦτος, οὐ ῥώμη σώματος, οὐκ εὐγένεια, παρὰ τούτοις οὐκ ἔστι παρὰ τὸν Ἀριστοτέλην τὸ εὔδαιμον. Καὶ οἱ τοιοῦτοι φιλοσοφείτωσαν
你們在哲學上究竟產出了什麼莊嚴的東西呢？那些極認真的人中，有誰擺脫了虛誇呢？第歐根尼以木桶自誇、標榜自足，卻因吃生章魚患了腸絞痛，因放縱無度而死。亞里斯提卜身披紫袍闊步而行，看似可敬，實則荒淫度日。哲學家柏拉圖因貪食被狄奧尼修斯賣作奴隸。亞里斯多德無知地給天命設下界限，又把幸福局限於他所喜悅之事中；他極其無知地諂媚少年亞歷山大，忘了對方不過是個小子；而那人也十足按亞里斯多德的作風行事，因自己的朋友不肯向他下拜，竟把他囚禁起來，像熊或豹一般帶著示眾。他確實切實奉行老師的教訓，在筵席間炫耀其「勇武」與「德行」，用長矛刺穿自己親密摯愛的友人，事後又假作哀傷而痛哭絕食，免得被自己人憎恨。我也要嗤笑那些至今仍沿用他學說的人：他們說月亮以下之物沒有天命眷顧，自己卻比月亮更近地面、低於月亮的軌道，竟去為那些他們所謂「無人眷顧」之物操心。按亞里斯多德所言，凡無美貌、無財富、無體力、無高貴出身之人，便沒有幸福。讓這等人去作哲學家吧！
For what solemn thing have you produced in your philosophizing? Who among the very earnest has stood free of imposture? Diogenes, who plumed himself on self-sufficiency by boasting of his jar, was seized by a bowel disorder through eating a raw octopus, and died because of his intemperance. Aristippus, walking about in a purple robe, lived a dissolute life with an air of respectability. Plato, the philosopher, was sold by Dionysius on account of his gluttony. And Aristotle, who ignorantly set a limit to Providence and circumscribed happiness within the things that pleased him, very ignorantly flattered the youth Alexander, forgetting that he was a mere boy; and that man, quite in the Aristotelian manner, shut up his own friend, because he refused to do obeisance to him, and carried him about like a bear or a leopard. So indeed he obeyed the doctrines of his teacher, displaying his manliness and virtue at banquets, running his intimate and dearest friend through with a spear, and then weeping and starving himself on the pretext of grief, that he might not be hated by his own people. I could laugh too at those who to this day make use of his doctrines: who, saying that things below the moon are without Providence, yet being themselves nearer the earth than the moon and lower than its course, provide for the things they call un-provided-for. And among those in whom there is no beauty, no wealth, no bodily strength, no noble birth, among these, according to Aristotle, there is no happiness. Let such men be the philosophers!