Homilies on First Corinthians 26 part 2/2

But let us not act thus, nor seek the things enjoined upon others when we are called to account for our own;

for neither, if you take a partner in your charges, will this profit you at all;

but look to this one thing only, how you may strip off the charges against yourself.

Since Adam too laid the blame upon the woman, and she again upon the serpent, but this delivered them in nothing.

Do not you either, then, say this to me now, but be earnest to render with all gratefulness the things which you owe to your husband.

Since indeed, when I discourse to your husband, counselling him to love and to cherish you, I do not allow him to bring forward into the midst the law laid down for the wife, but I require of him the one written for himself.

And you, therefore, busy yourself with those things only which pertain to you, and render yourself tractable to him who dwells with you.

For indeed, if for God's sake you obey your husband, do not allege to me the things that ought to be done by him, but accomplish with exactness those things for which the Lawgiver has made you accountable.

For this is especially to obey God, even while suffering the contrary, not to transgress the law.

For this cause he who loves the one that loves him seems to do nothing great;

but he who cherishes the one that hates him, this man especially is he who is crowned.

In the very same way do you also reckon, that if you bear with a husband who is burdensome, you will receive a splendid crown;

but if he be gentle and mild, for what will God give you a reward? And I say these things, not bidding the husbands be overbearing, but persuading the wives to bear even with overbearing husbands.

For when each is eager to fulfil his own part, quickly the things of his neighbour also will follow;

as, for example, when the wife is prepared to bear even a harsh husband, and the husband does not insult her even when she is provoked, then all is calm, and a harbour freed from waves.

Thus also it was in the case of the men of old;

each fulfilled his own part, and did not demand the things of his neighbour.

Abraham took his brother's son;

he commanded her to journey a far road;

she did not gainsay even in this, but followed.

Again, after those many hardships and toils and sweats, having become lord of all,

he yielded the pre-eminence to Lot;

and not only did Sarah not take this ill, but she did not even part her lips, nor utter any such thing as many of the women now utter, when they see their own husbands worsted in such allotments, and especially by inferiors, reproaching them and calling them fools and senseless and unmanly and traitors and sluggards.

But she said no such thing, nor thought it, but was content with all that was done by him.

for after that man had become lord of the choice and had cast the lesser portion to his kinsman, a grievous peril overtook him.

And the patriarch, having heard of it, armed all his own men, and made ready against the whole camp of the Persians with his household servants alone;

and not even then did she restrain him, nor say what would have been natural;

'Man, whither are you carried, thrusting yourself down precipices and giving yourself over to so many dangers, pouring out your blood for a man who has insulted you and seized all that is yours? For even if you despise yourself, yet have pity on me, who forsook home and fatherland and friends and kindred and followed you in so long a wandering, and do not encompass me with widowhood and the evils of widowhood.'

None of these things did she say, nor think, but bore all in silence.

After these things, while her womb remained barren, she does not suffer what women suffer, nor bewail herself;

but he laments, yet not to his wife, but to God.

And see how each preserves what is fitting.

For neither did he himself despise Sarah as childless, nor reproach her with any such thing;

and she again was earnest to devise for him some consolation for the childlessness by means of the handmaid;

for these things were not yet forbidden at that time, as they are now.

For now it is not lawful for wives to grant such things to husbands, nor for those men, whether the wives know or are ignorant, to attempt such unions, even if the grief of childlessness trouble them ten thousand times over;

since they too shall hear that 'Their worm shall not die, and their fire shall not be quenched.'

For it is not permitted now, but at that time it was not forbidden;

wherefore also the wife enjoined this, and he obeyed, and not even so for the sake of pleasure.

'But see,' one says, 'how he again cast her out at the woman's bidding.'

For indeed this is what I wish to show, that both he obeyed her in all things, and she him.

Only do not attend to these things alone, but you who say these things, examine also what went before, that she insulted her, that she boasted over her mistress—than which what could be more painful to a free and honourable woman? Let not the wife, then, wait for the husband's virtue, and only then display her own;

nor again let the husband wait for the wife's good order, and only then act as a philosopher.

For this is no longer any achievement of his own;

but let each one, as I have said, first contribute what belongs to himself.

For if, when outsiders strike us on the right cheek, we must offer the other also, much more must one bear with a husband who behaves insolently.

And I do not say this in order that a wife should be beaten—far from it!

for that is the utmost outrage, not to her who is beaten, but to him who beats her;

but rather that, if by some circumstance you have been allotted such a mate, O woman, you should not be vexed, but consider the reward laid up for these things and the praise you win in the present life.

And to you, the husbands, I say this:

let there be no such fault as to bring you to the necessity of striking your wife.

And why do I speak of a wife? For a free man to strike even a maidservant and lay hands upon her would be intolerable.

But if for a man to beat a slave-girl is a great disgrace, much more is it so to raise his right hand against a free woman.

And this one may see even from those who legislate outside the Church, who no longer compel the woman who has suffered such things to dwell with the man who struck her, as being unworthy of fellowship with her.

For it is the utmost lawlessness to dishonour, as though she were a bought slave, the partner of your life, who shares with you in the most necessary and highest of concerns.

Wherefore I would say that such a man—if indeed one ought to call him a man, and not rather a beast—is equal

to a parricide and a matricide.

For if we have been commanded to leave both father and mother for her sake—not wronging them, but fulfilling a divine law, and this being so desirable to the very parents that even those who are forsaken both give thanks and accomplish it with much eagerness—

how is it not the utmost madness to outrage her for whose sake God commanded us to leave even those who begot us? Is this, then, mere madness? But tell me, who shall bear the shame? And what words shall be able to represent it, when wailings and lamentations are borne through the streets, and there is a running to the house of the man who thus behaves disgracefully, both of neighbours and of passers-by, as though some wild beast were ravaging within? Better were it for the earth to open and swallow up the man who commits such drunken outrages, than that he should henceforth be seen in the marketplace.

'But the wife is insolent,' he says.

But consider that she is a woman, the weaker vessel, while you are a man.

For it was for this very reason that you were appointed ruler, and were given the rank of head, that you might bear with the weakness of her who is ruled.

Make your rule, then, a glorious one;

and it will be glorious when you do not dishonour her who is ruled.

And just as a king will appear the more august in proportion as he makes his governor more august,

but if he dishonours and puts to shame the greatness of that dignity, he cuts off no small part of his own glory too;

so also you, if you dishonour her who rules next after you, will damage in no ordinary degree the honour of your own rule.

Reasoning thus, therefore, be sober-minded in all things; and along with these, call to mind that evening on which, having summoned you, the father delivered his daughter to you as a kind of deposit, and, having separated her from all—from her mother, from himself, and from the house—entrusted the whole guardianship of her to your right hand;

consider that, after God, it is through her that you have children and have become a father, and for this reason too be gentle towards her.

Do you not see the farmers, how they tend with every kind of care the land that has once received the seed, even though it have countless defects—as if it be poor soil, or bring forth noxious weeds, or by reason of excessive rains be injured by the nature of its situation? Do you also the same;

for thus you will be the first to enjoy both the fruits and the calm;

for a wife is a haven, and a most excellent remedy for cheerfulness of soul.

If, then, you rid this haven of winds and waves, you will enjoy great security when you come up from the marketplace;

but if you fill it with tumults and confusion, you prepare for yourself a more grievous shipwreck.

In order, therefore, that this may not happen, let this which I say come to pass:

whenever something painful befalls the household through her fault, comfort her, and do not aggravate the grief.

For even if you should lose everything, nothing is more painful than to have a wife dwelling within who is not disposed towards you with goodwill;

and whatever fault you may name, you will name nothing so grievous as to be at strife with her.

So that for these reasons also let the love of her be more precious than all things.

For if we ought to bear one another's burdens, much more those of the wife.

And if she be poor, do not reproach her;

and if she be foolish, do not trample upon her, but rather set her in order;

for she is a member of yourself, and you have become one flesh.

'But she is a chatterer, and a drunkard, and irascible.'

Then one ought to grieve over these things, not to be angry; and to call upon God, and to admonish and counsel her, and to do everything so as to cut out the passion.

But if you beat her, and grind down the malady, it is not cured;

for insolence is dissolved by gentleness, not by another insolence.

Along with these things, consider also the reward that comes from God.

For when, though it is in your power to cast her off, you do not do this on account of the fear of God, but bear with so many defects, dreading the law laid down concerning these matters which forbids the putting away of a wife, whatever malady she may have, you shall receive an unspeakable reward;

and even before the rewards, you will gain the greatest things: both rendering her more obedient, and yourself becoming more forbearing towards her.

At any rate, it is told of one of the philosophers outside the Church, who had a wicked wife, a chatterer and a drunkard, that when men asked him why, having such a one, he put up with her, he replied that he might have a training-school and

a wrestling-ground of philosophy in his own house;

'For I shall be gentler towards the rest,' he says, 'being disciplined every day by her.'

Did you cry out loudly? But I now lament greatly, when Greeks prove more philosophical than we—we who have been commanded to imitate angels, or rather, who have been commanded to emulate God Himself in respect of forbearance.

The philosopher, then, is said not to have cast out his wicked wife for this reason;

and some even say that it was for this reason that he married her.

But I, since many men are disposed too irrationally, exhort them from the outset to do everything and to be earnest that they may take a well-fitted mate, full of every virtue;

but if it should happen that they miss the mark and bring into the house a bride who is neither good nor tolerable, then at least let them emulate this philosopher, and set her in order continually, and prefer none of these things to that.

Since even a merchant, before he makes with his partner such agreements as are able to secure peace, will not first launch the ship into the deep, nor engage in the rest of his trading.

Let us, therefore, do everything so as to keep her who is the partner of the business of our life and of this vessel within, with all peace.

For thus all our other affairs also will be calm, and we shall run through the sea of the present life in security.

Let us hold this in higher account than house and slaves and money and lands and the very affairs of state;

and let it be preferred by us above all things, that she who sits with us in our homes should not be at strife nor at variance with us.

For thus our other affairs also will proceed with the current, and in spiritual matters too we shall have great facility, drawing this yoke together with concord;

and having set all things right, we shall attain the good things that are laid up;

which may it be granted us all to attain, by the grace and lovingkindness of our Lord Jesus Christ, with whom to the Father, together with the Holy Spirit, be glory, might, and honour, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.