Homilies on First Timothy 3

'I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, for that He counted me faithful, appointing me to His service, though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and insolent;'

'but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief;'

'and the grace of our Lord abounded exceedingly, with faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.'

We see that humility brings much gain, yet is nowhere quickly found; rather there is much lowliness of speech, and beyond what is fitting, but of humility of mind nowhere any.

But the blessed Paul so pursued it as even to devise many pretexts everywhere for humbling his own mind.

For since it is likely that those especially who are conscious of great achievements in themselves labor with difficulty when they wish to be humble, and it is likely that he too suffered much constraint, being puffed up as it were by some flood, by his good conscience;

see then here also what he does.

He said that 'I was entrusted with the Gospel of the glory of God;'

the Gospel, of which it is not lawful for those still using the Law to partake;

for it is still opposed to it, and so great is the interval between them, that those who are led by the Law are not yet worthy to partake of it;

just as if one should say that it is not lawful to bring those who require bonds and judgment into the company of philosophers.

Since then he was exalted and had uttered a great thing, at once he both abases himself and persuades the others to do this very same thing;

and, writing 'That I was entrusted with,' he quickly checked himself, lest you should suppose that he said this out of pride.

See, then, what manner of correction he employs, adding and saying:

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who empowered me, that He counted me faithful, appointing me to the ministry.

Do you see how everywhere he hides his own achievement and ascribes the whole to God, yet only so far as not to do violence to free will? For the unbeliever might perhaps have said: if the whole is God's, and nothing is contributed on our part, but He moves men to virtue from vice as though they were sticks and stones,

why then did He make Paul such a man, but Judas no longer so? Removing, therefore, this objection, see how prudently he uses his words.

This is his own achievement and dignity, yet not wholly his own.

I thank Christ Jesus, who empowered me.

Then again what is his own: that He counted me faithful.

assuredly, since he was destined to be of use through his own effort.

Appointing me, he says, to the ministry—me who was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and insolent.

but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.

See how he sets down both his own part and God's part, assigning the greater share to God's providence, while curtailing his own—yet only so far as not, as I said before, to do violence to free will.

But what does it mean, 'who empowered me'? Listen:

a great burden lay upon him, and it needed much help from above.

For consider how great a thing it was to stand firm against daily insults, revilings, plots, dangers, mockeries, reproaches, and deaths, and not to grow weary nor slip nor be overthrown, but, though assailed on every side each day with countless darts, to stand with unwavering eye and undismayed.

This was not of human strength, nor even of God's help alone, but also of his own resolve.

For that He chose him because He foreknew what manner of man he would be, hear what He says before he had even touched the preaching:

This man is to me a chosen vessel, to bear My name before the Gentiles and kings.

For just as those who bear the royal standard in war—that which is commonly called the labarum—need much strength and experience, so as not to surrender it to the enemy,

so too those who bear the name of Christ, not in war only but also in peace, need much power, so as not to give it up to the mouths of accusers, but to bear it well and to carry the cross.

For truly there is need of much strength to bear the name of Christ.

For he who says or does or thinks anything unworthy has not borne the name; he does not have Christ within himself.

But he who bears it goes in procession, not through the marketplace but through the heavens, and all stand in awe, the angels attending him as a bodyguard and marveling.

I thank, he says, Christ Jesus our Lord, who empowered me.

See how he knows himself grateful to Him even for what is his own.

For that he is a chosen vessel, he says he is grateful to Him.

And yet this became your doing, O blessed Paul;

for God is no respecter of persons.

But I thank Him, he says, that He counted me worthy of this ministry;

for this is to me a sign that I am counted faithful.

For just as in a household the steward is grateful to his master not merely for being trusted, but he also regards this as a sign that he is counted more faithful than the rest;

in the very same way here also.

Then observe how he exalts the mercy of God and His love toward mankind by recounting his former life.

Me who was formerly, he says, a blasphemer and a persecutor and insolent.

And when he speaks concerning the Jews who are still unbelieving, he uses his words with reserve:

For I bear them witness, he says, that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge;

but concerning himself he says: being a blasphemer and a persecutor and insolent.

Do you see his self-abasement, how he is not self-loving, how he keeps his mind lowly? It was not enough to say, being a blasphemer and a persecutor, but that he did this even with vehemence.

For not only, he says, did I set up the evil as far as myself,

nor was I content merely with blaspheming myself, but I even persecuted those who wished to live godly.

Great was the madness of his blasphemy.

But I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.

Why then were not other Jews also shown mercy? Because they acted not out of ignorance, but knowing and thoroughly understanding they did what they did.

And that you may learn this precisely, hear the Evangelist saying that many of the Pharisees and Jews did indeed believe, but would not confess it.

For they loved the glory of men more than the glory of God.

And again Christ says:

How can you believe, receiving glory from one another? And again: These things, he says, the parents of the blind man said because of the Jews, lest they should be put out of the synagogue.

And the Jews themselves again said: You see that we prevail nothing; behold, the whole world is gone after Him.

For everywhere the passion for dominion troubled them.

And indeed they themselves said that none can forgive sins except God alone;

and He immediately did this very thing which they had said to be a sign of God.

But where was Paul at that time? Perhaps someone might ask.

At the feet of Gamaliel, having nothing in common with the mobs of the seditious.

Now Gamaliel was a man who did nothing for the sake of dominion.

How then is Paul afterward found among the crowd? He saw the doctrine growing, and now prevailing, and all men being persuaded.

For in the time of Christ, at one moment they would go along with Him, at another with the teachers;

but when they were altogether cut off, then thereafter he did what he did, not, like the rest, for the sake of dominion, but out of zeal.

For why did he journey to Damascus? He considered the matter a plague, and feared lest the preaching should be spread abroad everywhere.

But the Jews were not so;

for they did all things not for the sake of the protection of the many, but for the sake of dominion.

They will take away both our nation and our city.

What fear shook them? A human one.

But this is worth examining: how, being exact concerning the Law, did he know nothing?

Which He had promised beforehand through His prophets.

How then do you not know, being a zealot for your ancestral Law, educated at the feet of Gamaliel? But those who spent their time at pools and rivers, and the tax collectors, ran and received it, while you, the man learned in the Law, persecute? For this reason he condemned himself, saying: I am not worthy to be called an apostle;

for this reason he confesses the ignorance which unbelief begot;

for this reason he says he obtained mercy.

What does it mean, He counted me faithful? He betrayed none of the Master's things;

he said that all were his, even the things that were his own.

He did not appropriate to himself the glory of God.

For hear him saying also in another place: Men, why do you give heed to us? We also are men of like passions with you.

This is what it means: 'He counted me faithful.'

And again elsewhere he says, 'I laboured more abundantly than they all';

'yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.'

And again, 'It is God who works in us both to will and to do.'

By this he shows himself worthy of punishment;

for mercy is granted in such cases.

'Blindness in part has happened to Israel.'

'But the grace of God,' he says, 'was exceedingly abundant with faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.'

What does this mean? That you may not, upon hearing 'I obtained mercy,' suppose only that much, he says, 'I was a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and insolent';

therefore I was also worthy of chastisement;

Was mercy then only this much, extending merely to not inflicting punishment? By no means, but many other great things besides.

For God not only delivered us from the judgment that hung over us, but also made us righteous, and sons, and brethren, and friends, and heirs, and joint-heirs.

Therefore he says, 'Grace was exceedingly abundant,' declaring that the gifts surpassed even the mercy.

For these things belong not to one who merely shows pity, but to one who loves.

Having therefore said many great things concerning the loving-kindness of God—that He had mercy on one who was a blasphemer, insolent, and a persecutor, and that He did not stop there only but deemed him worthy of other great things—he again guards against that objection of the unbelievers, namely, that they should not say that free choice has been abolished;

he therefore added, 'with faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.'

'Only so much,' he says, 'did we contribute';

we believed that He is able to save us.

Let us therefore love Him through Christ.

What does 'through Christ' mean? That it was He who became the author of this to us, not the Law.

Do you see of what good things Christ has become the cause to us, and of what the Law? And he did not simply say, 'Grace abounded,' but 'exceedingly abounded.'

And it did indeed exceedingly abound, for it led at once into adoption as sons those who were worthy of countless punishments.

Behold again, the word 'in' means 'through';

for there is need not of faith only, but also of love;

since there are many even now who believe that Christ is God, yet do not love Him, nor do the deeds of those who love.

For how can they, when they prefer everything to Him—money, birth, fate, the observance of omens, divinations, auguries? And when we live to His dishonour, tell me, what love is that? If a man has a warm and ardent friend, let him at least love Christ in like manner;

let him at least so love the One who gave His Son for His enemies, when we had achieved nothing good.

Why do I say 'achieved nothing good'? Rather, when we had wrought great evils, and had dared unspeakable deeds against Him who had done us no wrong.

And He, even after His countless benefits and providential care, did not even then cast us off, but then most of all gave His Son, when we had done the greater wrong;

but we, after obtaining so many blessings, after being made friends, after being deemed worthy of all good things through Him, have not loved Him even as a friend.

And what hope shall we have? Perhaps you shudder at the word;

but would that it were at the deeds themselves!

'And how is it,' one says, 'that we shall not love God even as we love our friends?' How? I will endeavour to show.

And I pray indeed that I may seem to be saying nothing to the point, but merely talking nonsense;

but I fear that the words spoken may prove all too true to the facts.

For the sake of friends—of true friends—many have often chosen even to suffer loss;

but for Christ's sake no one endures, not merely to suffer loss, but even to be content with what he already has.

For a friend's sake we have often been insulted, and have taken on enmities;

but for Christ's sake no one takes on enmity, but 'love in vain,' one says, 'and hate not in vain.'

We will never overlook a friend who is starving;

yet Christ, who comes to us daily not for any great thing but merely for bread, we do not even admit—and this while we belch forth foul odours, are gorged and stuffed, reek of yesterday's wine, live in luxury, some giving to harlots, others to parasites, others to flatterers, others to monsters and fools and dwarfs;

for they bring even these sins against nature to serve as amusement.

And towards friends who are truly friends we are never envious, nor are we stung by their prosperity;

but in the case of Christ we suffer even this;

and one might see friendship prevailing more strongly than the fear of God.

For the crafty and the envious man reveres men more than God;

for though God sees the things that are in the heart, a man does not refrain from weaving deceits;

but if one man sees another, he is undone and blushes for shame.

Why do I say this? To a friend who is ill we go, and if we delay even a little, we are afraid of being blamed;

but though Christ has often died in prison, we did not even visit Him.

And even to friends who are believers we go, not because they are believers, but because they are friends.

Do you see that nothing is done out of the fear of God, nor out of love for Him, but some things out of friendship, others out of habit? Seeing a friend depart on a journey, we weep, we groan; and if we see

him dead, we lament, and yet we know that he will not be parted from us for ever, but that we shall receive him again at the resurrection;

but though Christ is separated from us every day—or rather, though we ourselves drive Christ away from us every day—we feel no pain, nor do we think we are doing anything dreadful, though we wrong Him, grieve Him, provoke Him, and do the things that displease Him.

But this is not yet the most fearful thing, that we do not treat Him even as a friend;

for I will show that we even treat Him as an enemy.

How? 'The mind of the flesh,' says Paul, 'is enmity against God.'

And we carry this about with us continually, while Christ, who ever desires to hasten to us and comes to our very doors, we drive away (for it is our evil deeds that do this);

and we cause Him to be insulted every day, through our greed, through our robberies.

Is someone honoured because he is of good repute, speaks his own words, and benefits the Church? Then we envy him, because he does the work of God;

and we think we are envying him, but the envy passes over to Christ.

'No,' one says, 'but we wish the benefit to come about not through others, but through ourselves.'

Not for Christ's sake, but for our own;

for if it were for Christ's sake, it would be a matter of indifference to us whether these things came about through others or through ourselves.

For tell me: if some physician had a son who was about to go blind, and were himself too weak to effect the cure, but found another who was able to do it, would he drive that man away? By no means;

rather he would all but say to him:

'Whether through you or through me, let the healing be accomplished.'

Why so? Because he looks not to his own interest, but to what is profitable for his child.

So too, if we looked to the interest of Christ, we would say, 'Whether through us or through some other, let that which is profitable be accomplished';

'Whether in truth or in pretence,' he says, 'Christ is proclaimed.'

For hear Moses saying to those who wished to provoke him, when the company of Eldad and Modad were prophesying:

'And would that all the Lord's people were prophets!' But all these things arise from love of vainglory.

Are not these the acts of enemies and foes? Has someone spoken ill of you? Do you, for your part, love him.

And how is that possible? It is possible, and altogether possible, if only you are willing.

But if you love only him who has spoken well of you, there is no longer any credit to you;

for you have done this not for the Lord's sake, but for the sake of the good report.

Has someone injured you? Do him good in return;

but if you benefit only him who has benefited you, you have done nothing great.

Have you been wronged and suffered great loss? Be eager to repay it with the contrary deeds.

Yes, I beseech you, let us so order our own affairs;

let us cease from wronging and hating our enemies;

He Himself commands us to love our enemies, yet we persecute even Him who loves us.

This we all utter with the tongue, but not all of us do it by our works.

So great is the darkening caused by sin, that the very things which in word are unbearable, these in deed are borne.

Let us then at long last disbelieve those things that harm and ruin our salvation, that we may obtain what it is fitting for friends to obtain.

'For I will,' He says, 'that where I am, there My disciples also may be, that they may behold My glory.'

Which may it be granted us all to attain, by the grace and lovingkindness of our Lord Jesus Christ, with whom to the Father together with the Holy Spirit be glory, might, and honor, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.