In the first place, indeed, if a man begins to know himself—why he was created—and seeks his Maker, God, then he will begin to repent over the things he committed in the time of his negligence. And so at length the kindly God gives him sorrow for his sins, and after this, again out of his kindness, grants him affliction of the body, fastings and vigils and instancy in prayers, and contempt of the world, so that he may willingly bear the injuries inflicted on him, and hold in hatred every bodily refreshment, and love mourning more than laughter. After this he bestows on him the desire of mourning and weeping, and humility of heart, so that he may consider the beam in his own eye, and not strive to pluck out the mote of another; and let him say always:
「For I acknowledge my iniquity, and my sin is ever before me」 (Psalm 50). And let him be mindful of his own departure from this day, and how he is to come before the sight of God; and let him also describe the judgments and punishments before the eye of his mind, as well as the deserved honors that are given to the saints. But if he sees that these things are sweet to him, he tempts him, to see whether he renounces his own desires, and resists against the assaults of the prince of this world, who had bound him before by the bait of varied delight which makes the heart soft, so that he may again be well-nigh able to conquer him. But also weariness of the body and the length of desire, his own thoughts saying to him: 「For how great a span of time will you be able to bear this labor?」
「And because it is a matter of arduous labor for anyone to deserve to have God as his indweller, especially you who have sinned greatly: and how many sins can be remitted to you by God?」 But if he recognizes that his heart is firm in the fear of God and does not abandon its place, but strongly resists his thoughts, then thoughts come to him under the pretext of righteousness, saying: 「You have indeed sinned, but you have done penance; now you are holy,」 and they make him recall the sins of certain men who did not do penance, sowing over him in his heart vainglory.
And not only this, but they also make certain men praise him deceitfully, and provoke him to works that he cannot bear, casting into his soul thoughts of not eating and not drinking, as well as of vigils, and many other things which it would be long to tell. And they grant him facility for accomplishing these things, if only they may somehow allure him to them—though Scripture forewarns and says: 「Do not turn aside to the right nor to the left, but enter upon the straight path」 (Deuteronomy 5 and 17). But if the kindly God perceives that he has consented to none of these things for his own sake, David speaking and signifying concerning temptations of this kind: 「You have proved my heart, and visited it by night; you have tried me by fire, and no iniquity has been found in me」 (Psalm 16).
And it is to be considered why he said 「by night」 and not 「by day」; namely, because the circumventions of the enemy are night, as blessed Paul says, that we are not of the night of darkness, but of the light, because the Son of God is day, while the devil is likened to night (1 Thessalonians 5). But if the soul has surmounted all these battles, then adverse thoughts begin to cast themselves upon it—the desire of fornication, and the abominable defilement of boys. In all these, therefore, the soul is weakened and the heart melts, so that it believes the guardianship of chastity to be impossible for itself, they adjoining to it, as I said, the length of time, the strain of the labor.
And because their burden is great and unbearable, they add to it the infirmity of the body and the fragility of nature. But if he has not grown weary at these assaults, then the kindly and merciful God sends into him holy strength, and confirms his heart, and gives him gladness and refreshment and possibility, so that he may be found stronger than his enemies, that their assault against him may not prevail, they fearing the strength that dwells in him. As the holy Apostle says: 「Strive, and you shall receive strength.」 This indeed is the strength of which blessed Peter says: 「An inheritance incorrupt and unfading, kept in heaven, who are guarded by the strength of God through faith」 (1 Peter 1).
Then the kindly and clement God, if he sees that his heart has been strengthened above his enemies, little by little withdraws the strength that was aiding him, and permits the enemies to assail him with various concupiscences of the flesh, as well as of vainglory, cupidity, and pride, and the others that drag toward perdition, so that he becomes well-nigh like a ship which, without a rudder, dashes against the rocks this way and that. But when his heart has withered in these things, so to speak, and has failed at each of the enemy's temptations, then God the lover of men, having care of his creature, sends into him holy strength, and confirms him, subjecting his heart and soul and body and all his inward parts under the yoke of the Paraclete, the Lord himself saying:
「Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart」 (Matthew 11). And so at length that kindly God begins to open the eyes of his heart, that he may understand that it is he himself who confirms him; and then truly will a man begin truly to know how to give honor to God, with all humility and thanksgiving, as David says: 「A sacrifice to God is a contrite spirit」 (Psalm 50), and meekness of hearts is wrought. When, therefore, he has been proved in all these things, then the Holy Spirit will begin to reveal to him the heavenly things: that is, those things which are justly and deservedly owed to the saints, and to those who hope upon his mercy. And then a man reckons within himself that apostolic saying, saying:
For the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the future glory which shall be revealed in us (Rom. 8). And that word of David: For what have I in heaven, and besides thee what have I desired upon earth (Ps. 72)? That is: 'O Lord, how great were the things thou hadst prepared for me in heaven, and what was I seeking from thee in this mortal life?' And thus there were revealed to him the torments which sinners are to suffer, and many other things which, while I am silent, the holy man understands.
After all these things, the Paraclete begins to enter into a covenant with the purity of his heart, with the steadfastness of his soul, and with the holiness of his body; and through the spirit of humility he makes him to surpass every creature: so that his mouth speaks not the works of men, that his eyes look upon what is right, that he sets a watch upon his mouth, that he makes straight the path for his steps, that he keeps righteousness in his hands—that is, the diligence of works and of prayer, together with the affliction of the body and the frequency of vigils. And these things He ordains with him in measure and discretion, not in turbulence but in tranquillity.
But if his mind should despise the ordering of the Holy Spirit, then the virtue which had been bestowed upon him departs, and so there arise in his heart the same battles, namely disturbances, and the passions of the body assail him at every moment by the warfare of the enemy. If, however, his heart be converted and he keep the precepts of the Holy Spirit, the protection of the Lord shall come upon him; and then a man knows that to cleave unceasingly to God is good, and that in Him is his life, as David says: I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me. And again: For with thee is the fountain of life (Ps. 35).
Therefore, according to my counsel, unless a man possess a great humility—which is the summit of all virtues—and set a watch upon his mouth and the fear of God upon his heart; unless in that wherein he proves himself he does not exalt himself nor prefer himself to others, as though he had done some good; unless he bears the injuries inflicted upon him and offers the other cheek to him who strikes him, and breaks forth swiftly to every good work, and carries his soul in his hand as though about to die each day, and counts as nothing all the things that are seen beneath this sun, and says: I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ (Phil. 1); and: For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain (ibid.)—he will not be able to keep the precepts of the Holy Spirit.