1. As often, dearly beloved, as it has been needful, for the sake of the discipline of morals and for the confounding of the wicked, to set forth the virtues of the good elements, we have shown much honor to friendships, when we praised each single thing according to its own merits: giving preference to the pursuits of brotherly union, which, joined in the fellowship of peace and charity, establish the life of perfect religion. But while I diligently and curiously inquire into the causes of individual matters, and lend the service of speech to honorable deeds, I have found much even in friendships themselves that displeased me.
Hence, lest I should seem to have withheld anything from the discipline by flattery of the good elements, I have dared, among the faults of enmities, to chastise even friendships—if indeed they are to be called friendships, where injury works, wrought by many wounds. In which matter, to excuse the odium of an execrable error, some perhaps set forth the plea of play, and impose the name of merriment upon penal causes. Let him bear this in whatever spirit he will, who is accustomed to lie subject to insults of this kind. For my part, I hold that friendship has passed into every kind of captivity, where it is not fitting either to be angry at one wronged, or for the angry one to avenge himself. In which case, dearly beloved, which of the two I should judge the more unhappy, I know not:
whether the one who lives by the disfigurement of another, or the one who has prostituted his own body to mockery and given it over to insults. Let no one in such matters impose upon me the name of patience: to lust indeed belongs the punishment which the wrong of an angry enemy does not wring out. But perhaps pardon should be granted to those whom poverty drags to every insult, and whom unhappy want compels to lie subject to wanton blows; who, while they serve necessity, acquiesce in insults. Grant that the cause of shameful poverty prescribes patience to these; what shall we judge of those whom another's insult feeds? What sort of degree of friendship is this, which punishment has bound and injury made harsh?
Or what grace of familiarity can there be, where every day there is a punishment for sale? 2. I blush indeed, dearly beloved, at the confusion of the wretched whom the hunger of wicked greed has enticed; but far more do I sigh at the deeds and manner of life of those among whom penal friendship has removed sadness, and a bloody love of familiarity has demanded merriment. Unhappy indeed I judge those whom the belly invites to continual insult, and whom the gullet, never to be sated with cups, urges on to every injury. But these I hold far more unhappy, who at the instigation of a friend set up brawls, and amid cups flowing with wine are sated with another's blood. Behold, this man sets up a banquet, and with a certain sumptuous display has gathered together from every side troops of flatterers.
Among whom advances the gluttony of parasites: whose custom it is to sell insult for wine, and to patch garments torn by blows with cups. See therefore how these men bear the occasions of hatreds, among whom it pleases men that friendships should be bloody. What has wretched man not devised out of ruinous luxury? Behold, man becomes a spectacle to man: and to stir up merriment either a foul word or a face of ugliness is demanded. To this one, while he eats, the beard is plucked; from that one, while he drinks, the seats are pulled away;
this one is fed with split wood, that one with brittle glass. So great, therefore, is the lust of laughing, that the wretched think no banquet passes without merriment, unless they have turned into food either the garments of bodies or the service of cups. But at how great a cost, do you suppose, do these things stand? Behold, whatever loss the table has made, the insatiable belly acquires. For he who serves pleasures of this kind, even the wage of his own labor he either wears away by drinking or consumes by being beaten. 3. But before all else these things are to be charged to those who, for the sake of merriment, bend the rank of friendship and familiarity to so foul a service. In a better state indeed, before the Lord, is that servitude which, by the law of standing, obeys the office appointed to it.
For him there is, among those reclining, a place of laughter, and yet among those who wait no guilt of sin is incurred. Behold, a battle-line is drawn up, armed with the weapons of cups. First, victory is awaited in a contest of words: nor is an end set, until with abundant tears all the harsher things of the cups are tempered. It is to pollute rather than to adorn a banquet, to await the brawls of unhappy friends: if indeed they are to be called friends, who serve by the law of captives, and are fed after the manner of gladiators. To the wretch, amid the novelties of foods, the liquors of wine, is given whatever is cheaper, whatever is harsher, so that in so great an abundance of things it is uncertain whether it is better to hunger or to thirst. Far less subject to mockery, plainly, is the captivity assigned to gloomy dungeons;
for there, although a man endures the harsh sway of domination, yet from the very necessity of things he receives consolations. For he has nothing wherein he can blush, who must serve against his will. Yet I would wish to know, dearly beloved, wherein the injury of another's disfigurement refreshes the mind of the onlooker. Perhaps the lovers of this matter assert that these things are furnished as jests: as though in truth there were nothing wherein a man might not seek amusement. 4. I will show you, if you please, delights not unwholesome, which can easily remove all the sadness of a wasting mind. Behold, in infants, how wonderful are the beginnings of words:
where first the shapeless word fashions the name of mother, and the groaning of a halting syllable begins the name of father? And who would not be glad there, when amid those rough rudiments of speech the untrained tongue fails at the struggling sounds of the lips, and the noisy, dripping words leave it in the lurch? But if perhaps you are delighted by spectacles, you have those of horses—contests, though at times perilous, yet pleasant enough, when with blows and hastened pace they either fear the winds or snatch them away. Nor do the pursuits of hunting confer little joy, and the contests waged by dogs, which stand exposed neither to perils nor to losses: when here one, in the struggle of rival courses, presses hard upon the long-eared hare, there another with keen nostrils tracks the footprints of the hidden stag.
Yet these things must be left to the world, in which luxury seethes with ancient terror. But it befits us otherwise, whom our Christ has bound by his laws and has separated from that folly of superstitious heathenism. Yet neither are spectacles lacking to us, which may relieve sadness and sufficiently delight a mind anxious with cares. 5. Let us set before our eyes those battles of the martyrs, and let us gaze upon the examples of admirable virtues; and you shall see, with joy suddenly increasing, all the heats of unhappy minds give way.
For to whom does a battle not furnish joy, when victory follows on the just side, which the fierce enemy has staged in the persecution of the saints by applying the goads of torments? Who then would not laugh, who would not be glad, when he sees the soldier of our Christ exulting in his torments? While the author of the persecution blushes, the torturer, vanquished, has yielded to the blows. If perhaps anyone is delighted by the hearing of sweet-sounding song, let him turn his solicitous heart more widely to the choirs of the psalm-singing prophets. Let our mouth be filled with the exultation of heavenly psalms, rendering thanks to our Christ, who by the hope of salvation has willed us to exult continually in honor of his name. Let this be the exultation of our heart, that day and night we may rejoice in the Lord.
And this is to exult: to have served the commandments of the Lord with the whole mind. But he serves the commandments of the Lord who guards his own life from every contagion of vices. He guards his own life who shows faith to his neighbors, loves peace, cultivates friendships. This, then, is to cultivate friendships: to bear with another's anger by the pursuit of moderation, and to temper a brother's fervent spirits with patience. So it is, that in the future judgment you may walk among the rest blameless, if, being chastened, you present yourself proven by our Christ in all these things which we have said.