約伯倫理 第 1321 章

The saints, from that very source whence they are made more worthy, thence seem to themselves more unworthy. — Holy men, the higher they advance before God in the dignity of virtues, the more subtly they discover themselves to be unworthy; because, while they draw near to the light, they find whatever lay hidden in themselves; and they appear the more deformed to themselves outwardly, the more exceedingly beautiful is that which they behold within. For everyone is shown to himself when he is illumined by the touch of the true light; and from that whence he recognizes what righteousness is, thence he is instructed to see what guilt is. Hence it is that often our mind, though it grows torpid and cold in the exercise of human intercourse, though it offends in certain things and knows it not, though it weighs certain sins as though they were nothing;

yet when, through the compunction of prayer, it raises itself to long for sublime things, being roused by that very eye of its compunction, it returns more vigilant after weeping to look about upon itself. For when it deserts itself, neglected, and grows torpid in harmful lukewarmness, it altogether believes either idle words or useless thoughts to be of lesser guilt. But if, growing warm with the fire of compunction, it is roused from its lukewarmness, suddenly touched by the breath of contemplation, those things which a little before it believed light, it soon shudders at as grave and deadly. For it flees all things harmful even in the least matters, as most atrocious, because, being pregnant through the conception of the Spirit, it now permits no empty things to enter into itself.

For from that which it beholds within, it feels how horrible are these things which make their din outwardly; and the more it advances, uplifted, the more it flees the lowest things, in which, prostrate, it failed. For nothing feeds it save that which it had seen within; and it endures the more heavily whatever obtrudes itself upon it from without, in proportion as that is not what it saw within, but from these interior things which it was able to see in a fleeting glance, it takes the rule of judging the exterior things which it endures. For it is caught up above itself while it contemplates sublime things; and now beholding itself more freely by exceeding itself, it more subtly comprehends whatever of itself remains beneath itself.

From which it comes about, in a wondrous manner, that, as was said above, from that whence it is made more worthy, thence it seems to itself unworthy; and it feels itself to be far from rectitude at the very time when it draws near. Whence Solomon says: 'I have tried all things in wisdom, and I said: I will become wise, and it withdrew farther from me' (Ecclesiastes 7:24). For wisdom, once sought, is said to recede far off, because to him who draws near it seems loftier. But those who by no means seek it deem themselves the nearer to it, the more they are ignorant of the rule of its rectitude; because, seated in darkness, they know not how to marvel at the brightness of a light which they have never seen; and since they are not stretched out toward the form of its beauty, they willingly become daily more deformed in themselves.

For whoever is touched by its rays has his own foulness shown to him more manifestly; and he the more truly finds how greatly he is bent in vice, in proportion as, more keenly considering the highest things, he beholds how far he stands from the right. Whence blessed Job, surpassing the human race in virtues, overcame his friends in speaking; but when God spoke, being more sublimely instructed, he fell silent in coming to know himself. For he had subjoined that those men spoke unjustly, but he justly acknowledged himself guilty as to the words of his innermost utterance. And indeed he knows not why he was scourged, yet nevertheless why he did not venerate the scourges, by his silence he confutes himself.

For the divine judgments, when they are not understood, are not to be discussed with bold speech, but venerated with awe-filled silence; because even when the Creator of things does not disclose the causes in the scourge, He thereby shows them to be just, in that He shows that He who is supremely just is doing them. The holy man, therefore, rebuked both first for his speaking and afterward for his silence, let him make known what he feels concerning himself. For he says: